


But it was fun, right ?

by Aparima



Category: Baldur's Gate
Genre: Adventure & Romance, Also Gale and Lae'zel, Attempt at Humor, Eventual Romance, F/M, Focus on banters, Focus on relationships, Gen, Multi
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-27
Updated: 2020-11-05
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:22:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 26,148
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27225730
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aparima/pseuds/Aparima
Summary: Mereana is a bit of a loser who finds herself on an exciting adventure with new friends. Well, "friends" is kind of a stretch here. And "adventure" means 'life-or-death situation I certainly didn't choose at all.' But it's fun, right ?
Comments: 3
Kudos: 13





	1. 1. Touch the magic button

_Disclaimer :_

_I played the early acess and couldn't resist to urge to write a few prompts picturing my custom character in the game._

_The game is tons of fun, even in EA, and I really love Larian studio's work._

_I try not to write too much about the events of the game because I wouldn't like to spoil things for those that are waiting for the final release of the game, which I totally understand. And it is completely possible that the game changes a lot in-between. So this is writing just for fun and to share my love for the game and its characters :)_

_As I played the game, I made a lot of bad decisions just for the heck of it and I got the idea that my custom character was a bit of an eccentric idiot (as your companions like to remind you from times to times as well ^^ ) So I had fun picturing an anti-hero character, not really good, not really bad, just...a bit of a loser with a poor sense of self-preservation. And so this fic is about picturing my character's background and thoughts as she interacts with her companions or around very specific scenes of the game. Like I said, I try to stay a bit undefined about the events of the game themselves so as not to spoil too much.  
_

________________________

According to her fellow students from the Academy of Magic in Baldur's Gate, Mereana was what you would call an irritating and quite stereotypical spoiled little brat. In truth, none of her fellow students really liked her and they certainly didn't miss her when she dropped out of her studies. Daughter of an aristocratic family of the Gate, she had a powerful and wealthy mother, whom she deeply hated, mainly because her mother seemed to be a kind, intelligent soul, with an acute sense of responsibility, whereas Mereana herself was...undisciplined, selfish, with no sense of the reality of the world.

So, like many children of the aristocracy, Mereana was doing things just to piss her mother off or tarnish her family's name.

Henche the haircut, the multitude of scandalous love affairs, the poor choice of looks and generally speaking a great deal of wasting everyone's time. Mereana latest's fantasy was attending a career of some sort amongst the artistic circles of Baldur's Gate, as a musician. Too bad that she had no real talent to speak of, but she was very good at pretending to have some. She had observed local bards and decided that mostly the secret of getting famous was being cute, seductive, and poor. Unfortunately, she wasn't poor by any means, but she knew getting a chaotic haircut and some ragged clothes would do the trick, as well as unnerve her mother to no end. As for being cute and seductive, Mereana could fit the bill, in a very aggressive and provoking way. She tended to have lots of lovers, men or women alike, and had a tendency to select whomever may have the worst reputation possible or might have a marriage going on, because she liked to break things people cared about. The key to succeed in such an awful endeavor was to have no standard at all and to think only about herself. The latest was a natural to nobles and didn"t require much effort on her part.

Mereana though this lifestyle would make her look cool and charismatic, but she was the only one to think so. To all the other's eyes, she seemed a bit pathetic, but then, with her family name, she could do as she pleased without ever having to face consequences. Her mother, a high-elf priestess of Corellon, would sigh and comment that it was just a phase. A phase that would last a few decades, but then her daughter would grow up and finally do something productive with her life.

When her mother was utterly alone, she would add that it was probably the human blood in her child that made her so impulsive. This would be a clue to the way the high priestess truly thought of the other races in the baldurian population, but only Mereana had seen this side of her before. As for her father, his identity was shrouded in secrecy. Her mom did not like to be reminded of the human male that managed to seduce her. Mereana never truly cared enough about him to make any deeper inquiries.

Her only remarkable success was her arcanic studies, which was also the only thing her mother talked about at mundane events. Her daughter had somehow managed to pass through all exams with excellent grades. To this day, Mereana herself had no idea how she did that. True, she had some talent, as a wizard. But she had decided to not pursue her studies longer, because of her newly found interest for the bard career, which proved to be a complete disaster that she still refused to acknowledge. Sure, she could probably try to get an apprenticeship with a local wizard, and spend all her days cleaning up his alchemy lab and helping with getting the ingredients. Maybe in a few years she would be able to make a name for herself and get her own mage tower, as her mother wished her to. But truth be told, this did not appeal much to her. It all seemed kind of boring and she disliked studying anyway. Plus, mages were the worst kind of companions ever. All nerdy and better-than-thou like, and they never wanted to try to invoke a demon for fun or press the magic button no one knew what was its purposes. Well, they would know what the magic button was all about if they had let Mereana touch it !

With this introduction over with, our dear reader would now totally understand why Mereana's disappearance during the illithid attack over the city was only met with a sigh of satisfaction by her mother. The spoiled little brat was gone, and everyone that had crossed path with her agreed : it was such a relief that she died. Her mother could pretend to be in grievance and gain more political power over thanks to the empathy of the people, her best friend could steal her actual boyfriend, and the bards of the Mermaid's song would sleep safe and sound knowing the drunk musician wannabe was never going to try to steal the show from them again.

But Mereana was not dead.

She knew that because things hurt. It hurt in her chest, in her head, in her hands, in her legs, and gosh what was that awful throbbing pain behind her eye - oh shit, her eyes.

In a flash, she remembered the tadpole that illithid monster had stuck right in her eyeball. That was gross. That was disgusting. She put her hands all over her face and hair. She could not feel anything under her skin. So maybe she was okay.

Mostly she was very hungover, because her capture to the illithid's tentacles had happened as she was making her way out of a tavern. She had not put up a fight or a run, mainly because she had not totally understood what was going on amidst the haze of ebriety overwhelming her mind.

Maybe it was because she was still a bit drunk, but she didn't feel particularly appalled by finding herself on a flying tentacle ship getting ambushed by dragons and devils. She supposed this sort of thing could happen, like, in the world, generally speaking. That it would happen to her was a bit of a stretch, but then Mereana was a noble child, so she kind of thought that she was special by default.

She quickly made friends with another prisoner, Lae'zel, a githianky warrior. She was pretty glad to have found herself a bodyguard on the ship. Though she had learned magic in her younger days, she didn't feel like facing all these enemies alone. At least the gith girl could act like a meat shield.

It would have been better, though, if Lae'zel had not seemed to think exactly the same thing about her.

Or if she had shown any kind of form of respect or empathy to her situation, which she didn't.

Mereana knew things were going to be complicated with her newfound companion when they were faced with a strange, weird-looking board carved with runes and symbols over three buttons.

As she leant over the board to examine the glyphs closer, she could hear Lae'zel ordered strictly over her shoulder :

" Don't touch it. We don't know what it does."

" I'm pretty sure I can decipher it", the mage replied with certainty. Her response was met only by an annoyed growl.

She looked at the symbols calmly, but wasn't able to understand any single ones of them. _Am I really this bad ?_ Maybe she had dropped out of the Academy for too long. She felt like she should have understood the runes. It seemed familiar. Now the buttons and the board seemed like some sort of challenge. As if it was teasing her : you're not good enough to understand what is our function.

" Let's go", decided Lae'zel abruptly. " We are wasting time."

" Just let me try it."

" Have you deciphered it ?"

" Yes", Mereana lied. " It might help saving this young lady over there." She pointed to the fleshy pod where a young half-elf had asked for their help, which they weren't able to provide.

" I told you : there is nothing to be done for her. Now, let's hurry to the helm while we still…"

_That's it. I'm pushing the magic button no one knows what it is for. I'm alone now, I'm on an adventure, I'm putting my damn hands where I damn well please, including weird looking arcanic glyphs !_

Without further ado, Mereana pressed one of the three button with a sense of excitement. She had never felt so free before.

Something was screaming above her. She raised her head just in time to catch a glance at three bodies falling down their pods into the grounds...from quite an admirable height. They crashed down on the platform in a gory blood mud, their bodies turned into meat mash by the fall. Lae'zel stood very silent behind her, glancing at her with barely contained anger and contempt.

Even the half-elf on the other side of the room, looking at her, was making clear signs to her to stop hovering over the next button.

Mereana cleared her throat as she slowly put her hand back into her pocket. " - I suppose you are right. We have no time to waste doing experiments."

She turned her back on the half-elf in the pod and crossed the room towards the next platform, which was supposed to lead to the helm.

Following her with utter contempt, Lae'zel murmured through gritted teeth : " ... _idiot_."


	2. 2. Making friends

The adventure really began, of course, when Mereana fell off the flying ship.

She expected a gruesome death, but there again, she survived, though she had no idea how exactly.

She woke up on an abandoned beach, her legs hanging in the cold water. Brushing her hair aside her face, she slowly blinked through the sun rays and tried to make sense of what had just happened. She was still not back in her mansion, which was a con. But, she was alive, which was a pro. She had a vicious tadpole in her brain : gross, definitely a con. Her dress was all torn up and her beautiful coat full of mud and water, plus she had not taken a bath since at least a few days : bad, such a con. She found herself completely alone on the shore, on unknown territory, with just a few spells in her mind : con. And she had lost her purse in the water, so she was back to having only a dagger to fend for herself. Normally, she would not even cut her own meal, so there was no way she was going to know how to stab someone. That was what the githianky girl was for (that, and for the pleasure of her eyes, because Mereana thought Lae'zel was kinda hot at least when she was not speaking.) But Lae'zel was nowhere to be seen, unfortunately.

She got up shakily and tried to boost her own morale up. At least she was not dead or worse, disfigured for life. Surely people will fly to her rescue when they see her. She looked very pretty and innocent and inoffensive, making friends to protect her would be easy.

She did find a few companions quite quickly, considering everything. The first one she met was Shadowheart - who happened to be the half-elf she had poorly tried to save on the ship. This seemed to facilitate their encounter. The young half-elf was busy trying to pry open an old-looking door when she stumbled across her.

Just like her, Shadowheart had a tadpole problem and was willing to pursue a cure and a healer. This seemed like a good plan.

" - Maybe we could join forces", offered Mereana, showing off a confidence in her own survival and talents that she didn't really feel.

"- I guess some company would be nice", agreed the cleric. What Shadowheart did not say out loud, but that was clearly implicit, was : ' Great, I'd rather have someone to serve as a moving target instead of me.'

Mereana was thinking more or less along the same lines, so both the half-elves began their heroic travel, each one trying to stay behind each other's back during fights. The cleric always seemed to find herself somewhere else when the enemy tried to shred them to bits, the enemy being in this scenario a sort of brain devourer which was oddly cute and dog-looking for such an aberration.

 _She's the one with armor ! And she has a shield !_ Mereana was fulminating in her thoughts. _And she can heal herself. I can barely make it jumping around launching ice rays from my fingers ! She should be in the frontline._

But truth be told, Shadowheart was kind of...well...not really gifted in terms of grace and dexterity, and Mereana was indeed better at jumping around the place.

She dared not comment upon the obvious way Shadowheart used her a human shield though, out of fear to lose her only willing ally for now. Well, ally was a strong word to use about Shadowheart, whose name was explicit enough about how much trust anyone should put in her. The cleric had a sense of humor, in a very snarky and bitchy way which slightly reminded Mereana of her mother. Which tended to make her want to piss her off on purpose, which feeded the whole "I'm better than you" attitude of the cleric. It was obvious they were not going to get along fine.

Maybe that was the reason Shadowheart did not intervene at all when they spotted this strange looking pale-elf on the side of the road.

" - He doesn't look very trustworthy to me", commented the cleric, doing this strange thing with her mouth that she did when she was trying to give advice to her companion that she already knew they wouldn't follow. Ah, yes, a scowl. " - He may be one of those possessed illithid servants we crossed paths with."

" - I agree. He looks like the kind of slippery guy that you will definitely regret letting into your life. He has a "'sleep-with-him-and-get-stabbed' vibe. We should definitely avoid that. "

Shadowheart looked to her with a flicker of surprise in her expression, which had gone softer. " - You clearly have _a lot_ of imagination….but I'm glad we agree on this. We should let him fend for himself. " She snuck back onto the tunnel they were walking in. " - I think that's the way up the cliff, we should go there to check our environment. Let him be."

" - Dangerous, shadowy, handsome. That's totally my type", Mereana added. She was pretty confident she had nothing to be afraid of. She got up from her hiding place and started walking towards the stranger.

" - What are you doing ?" cut in Shadowheart, from somewhere behind her. The cleric did not try to stop her, but she heard her fulminating behind her back as she strolled down the sunny path to the pale elf.

Mereana put on her best looking smiles, the innocent and honest looking one she knew made men a bit weak-minded around her, and she fluttered her eyes, trying to not look as if she had not gone through jumping off an illithid ship mid air.

" - Greetings, stranger", she began, but the elf cut int, completely unfazed by her charade and visibly freaking out :

" - I saw one of those tadpoles, just here, in the bushes !" The elf pointed to a nearby bush of shadowy vegetation and turned towards her with the most honest and innocent looking face he could muster. As honest and innocent as Mereana's smile itself. " Maybe you could go and...kill it before it escapes ?" he suggested.

Well, maybe Mereana was the kind of person who pushed magic buttons for fun, but she could recognize a liar when she met one. She looked to the handsome elf, then to the shadowy bushes, then to Shadowheart, who had chosen this exact moment to abandon her on the spot ; she was probably sneaking around the tunnel, observing the scene from afar. The elf kept looking at her with a touch of annoyance,as if wishing she would hurry up.

 _Not so handsome up close_ , she thought. _Kind of weirdly pale looking and has "slippery eel" written on his weird albino forehead. Something's wrong with the teeth, looks like the sort of kid in the Gate that would dress up as an upper-class wannabe for fun. Yuck. Totally not my type after all._

Remembering the lesson learned by the magic button, Mereana decided to no make any rash decision and slowly backed up the road, heading towards Shadowheart's location.

" - Oh gosh, sorry, the time, I have to go, good luck out there", she said, still not losing any streak of confidence as she turned her back on the stranger and made her way up.

Which was about the time the elf jumped on her back, exposing her very delicate and precious throat to the blade of his weapon. Mereana freaked out and tried to slip out of his embrace. Fortunately, the guy wasn't very strong, and they both fell on the ground fighting each other off.

Shadowheart glady chose not to intervene at all (did she just...stand there watching the show ?) as she rolled on the ground with the crazy elf, but she did manage to repel him by herself, by using a very cheap tactic known as "I'll knock your nose with my head." It kind of hurt though.

It took a few seconds of mental confusion before they both realised that they were in the same predicament, meaning potential illithids in the becoming. It seemed to relieve the elf, as he started to introduce himself as if he had just no tried to kill her a few seconds before. They decided to travel together for now.

Truth be told, she offered because Astarion - as he was named - has mentioned his baldurian origin and she had felt relieved to meet someone who was maybe someone who'd like her.

" - Maybe you've heard of me", she added, hopeful.

" - I can't say I have. We probably...don't move in the same circles", he replied dismissively.

 _Asshole,_ she thought. She made him take the lead of their little crew, mainly because she wanted to have the backstabber's back in her line of sight.

" - He tried to kill you", murmured Shadowheart at her ears. " Why do you want him with us ? Nothing is preventing him from finishing the job."

" - We need a rogue like him in our fights", Mereana replied in the same hush tone. _Plus, I'll totally let him be in the frontline in my place. And we both have someone to hide behind now, so you should be happy._

As they were walking up the cliff, Astarion pointed them to a circle of purple runes intertwining together on the wall.

Mereana scampered along to the rune to examine it closer, happy to find something to do where she could remind her companions that she was the only mage they knew of. It was time to show off her knowledge and studies, to let Astarion and Shadowheart think she was irreplaceable.

But someone, somewhere, had decided otherwise as the light started to vibrate alongside the rune. Mereana quickly backed off, unsure of what was going on, until a tall, beardy, human male appeared out of thin air.

Without losing a second, the wizard glanced at them with a smile, and greeted them as if they were long-term friends. Which they weren't.

The wizard turned his attention to Mereana, who was standing closest to him, acting as if she was the face of the party. At least that was comforting.

" - Last time I saw you, you were lying in a crucible of blood." He went on the gruesome depiction, which Mereana had totally forgot about, and introduced himself as Gale.

She had not wished to be reminded of this peculiar experience. Did a brain devourer truly tried to nibble at her ? She cleared her throat and confirmed that they were also refugees from the illithid ships. That's when the wizard decided to ramble around another awful description reminding her of the way the tadpole was inserted in her brain. The words "ocular penetration" were pronounced, which instantly drained any amiable feelings she might have felt with a potential fellow wizard.

_Ah, yes, that's why I don't like other mages._

" - That was gross", she commented harshly at the end of his explanation.

This seemed to take him aback a little, but only for a little while, as he added :

" - Oh. You're looking at me like a Rashemi at a blackboard. I take it you're no wizard ?"

Mereana felt a surge of indignation taking over her. Who the hell was this guy ? He just...showed up and obviously thought she was a complete moron. She was not by any means a complete moron. She was certainly a powerful wizard, far better than he was. She glared at him very coldly and let a few seconds of silence pass by. She could hear faints murmurs between Astarion and Shadowheart behind her back, who were obviously commenting on the scene.

" - Actually, I am a wizard", she said, raising her chin up and defying the stranger.

Like everyone she had met, he totally ignored her manierism and dismissed her around, comparing her aura to a guts of faint breeze.

_Great. I hate you now, stupid wizard._

She prepared to turn her back on him, not really willing to continue the conversation any longer, to the risk of her ego getting crushed. But Astarion and Shadowheart seemed to think otherwise and decided to intervene.

" - Do you have any clue as to how to cure the parasite ?" they asked tentatively.

Mereana opened her mouth, trying to find something to say, but was cut in by the other wizard who seemed to enjoy answering their questions. Hence a few minutes of lecture about ceremorphosis. The term seemed to impress Astarion a lot, who listened to the wizard with fascination, while Shadowheart remained faithful to herself and expressed no other feelings that a slight wave of distrust.

Mereana closed her mouth, crossed her arms and unwillingly listened to the process described by the wizard. Ceremorphosis, of course. _Now I remember the name. I think I learnt about it in my third year._ Well, she had had no memory of it before the wizard mentioned it. He seemed to know a great deal about it too. Unfortunately, his knowledge was very extended when it came to describe what could become of them as the tadpole took over their bodies, but not so much extended when talking about a potential cure.

_Not only do I hate you, stupid wizard, I also deeply envy your superior knowledge that I am in no way going to acknowledge._

Plus, the wizard was flattering Shadowheart's eyes and...well, she ignored his flirt with disdain, but also with a slight blush on her cheeks.

 _Great. Not only is he better than me at wizardry, he's also a better flirt._ Mereana tried to bite back her blatant discomfort and jealousy, which none of her companions seemed to have noticed, hopefully.

" - Maybe we should be off together", Gale suggested, looking back at her with enthusiasm.

" - Actually, you should probably wait at our camp", she answered steadily, trying not to show her disapproval.

" - Which camp ?" questioned Shadowheart. " - We don't have any yet."

" - I think it would be better for us to have some room in our small team for a warrior. You know. Not to have all the same talents in the same place", said Mereana with hope.

" - Nonsense. There's no use in waiting for another tagalong, while we are all so obviously good-fitted together", commented Astarion with confidence, perfectly knowing he was the tagalong that nobody really trusted and that someone with better martial prowess could take his place in the group.

" - I'd...understand if you need some time to consider your team's optimal composition, though I'd also question your intellectual abilities", said Gale with a slight tone of annoyance in his voice. " But since you do not have a camp to speak of, I suggest we make ways together at least until we reach the druid's grove."

" - There's a druid grove ?" Shadowheart asked.

" - Yes, I saw it earlier while investigating the crash. There's people in it, maybe a healer that we could consult for our condition", explained the wizard.

" - That is a good way to start ", commented Shadowheart.

 _Of course he's already found the local druid grove before me. We totally need this guy around. He's far more knowledgeable than I am._ Slowly breathing in, Mereana pushed back her ego and said :

" - Excellent idea. Let's...go there… all together."

The scene seemed to amuse Astarion, who grew a crooked smile watching them both, and purposefully added to Gale : " - That's great. Please take the lead, my dear friend."

Gale smiled warmly to Mereana, brushing aside a strand of hair behind his ear. " - If you would let me, my lady ?"

_Damnit, he is also cute. Why is everyone pretty and better than me in here ?_

" - Of course", she groaned, not that anyone cared much, but strangely enough they reacted to her decision and decided to follow Gale to the grove.


	3. 3. First night at camp

Fortunately, they encountered Lae'zel not too far away from the grove's supposed location.

Mereana beamed up when she recognized the warrior. At least she had the advantage of having already worked with her. Surely that would make Lae'zel a more trustworthy companion to keep around than the present company she kept.

For reasons unknown, Shadowheart immediately disliked Lae'zel. She barely explained to Mereana that she was defiant of the githianky in general, and was not particularly in favor of finding this "creche" Lae'zel kept mentioning. Truth be told, she did feel a bit of agreement towards the priestess's opinion. Gith were after all a very unknown race to mortals of the Material Plane ; and she disliked the term "purification" just as much as any sane person. But there was no way she was going to tell the cleric that she agreed with her reasoning, especially not when Lae'zel was around. Mereana tried to compel the half-elf to open up a bit more about her opinions and ideas, but to no avail. And though she had saved her life, Lae'zel did not seem inclined to share anything more about her past either.

Considering the fights they had gone through today, and how tired they felt, they commonly decided to settle for the night and make camp.

Mereana had never truly slept in the wilderness before. She tried very hard not to mention this to anyone, but it soon became obvious. It was the most disorganized camp possible. For once, no one seemed to care for anyone but themselves. Shadowheart was trying to build herself a shelter made out of branches and leaves, trying to keep away from Lae'zel, but her efforts seemed vain as her construction kept collapsing onto itself.

Lae'zel herself had had no trouble organizing a bedroll made out of bushes and vegetation, but had not seemed inclined to share her experience with the others in the group. The fact that she could not see in the dark, contrary to the half-elves and Astarion, seemed to bother her a little. Astarion was busy...doing nothing useful, he was fidgeting around the place watching everyone else discreetly and trying to look as if he knew what he was doing. Gale had promised to take care of dinner, which was great because Mereana was certain that she would not know how to handle cooking, and Astarion had seemed horrified and denied the offered meal, though he had participated in hunting the deer alongside Gale.

Mereana herself was trying to construct a bedroll of her own, gazing at Shadowheart's and Lae'zel"s to guess what she should do, and she had found that fire cantrips were really good to help with keeping the fire. She was battling with strands of bushes, trying to assemble them into something resembling a pillow with a sense of desperation, when Astarion's shadow loomed over her.

" - Do not think about stabbing me again or I swear I'll throw you into the fire ", she growled menacingly.

" - _Yes_ , yes, I have no doubt of that. And I only come here to satisfy my curiosity. " He glared at her construction in a mixture of awe and incredulity. " - _What_ are you doing exactly ?"

" - A bed. To sleep in. You don't use one ?"

" - Ah, yes, "sleep". I forgot how you…" he waved dismissively around, and seemed to bite back whatever he was going to say "... _commoners_ like to sleep".

Mereana glared at him coldly. _What a weird way to phrase it_. Her ego was piqued once again by the blatant uninterest she was getting from her companions. Here she was, the unique spawn of one of the most powerful family in Baldur's Gate, the heir to multiple riches across the continent, and not only did no one recognize her, no one noticed her at all. That was unusual. People would notice her origin, and she would reply by playing the role of the rebel child. That was how it worked.

Maybe her haircut had worked after all. She did look like one of those hobo adventurer kids she was trying so hard to impersonate before. So she had somehow managed to blend in for once, but the feeling was quite not pleasant. Was she really as snobbish as Astarion in her natural habitat ?

She decided not to mention her backstory to the elf just yet, although she had to fight back the urge to remind him that he was a bit too condescending for a mere magistrate of no illustrious lineage. She punched the branches of her horrible homemade bedroll with spite, trying to get the frustration of the day out of her system.

" - I suppose that you being an elf and all, you don't sleep at all. You just... go into reverie or something just as snobbish as that. ", she said acidly, trying to push away the elf elsewhere. His mannerism reminded her of how far away from home she was, and also she didn't like him very much for now and wished he would go lurk around someone else.

He looked at her with a slight sense of surprise, as if he was realising something, and his expression slightly lightened up.

" - Indeed, I do not truly need to lay down and sleep. I am not much of a night-sleeper anyway. Unlike you and the others, who all need to have some time to shut your eyes. Such is the benefit of the reverie."

She stopped what she was doing to consider him, slightly taken aback by the odd way he seemed to just have discovered that they indeed did sleep at night. Noticing her perplexity, Astarion quickly got up and changed the subject :

" - I'll take care of some of the most tedious guard duties", he said with confidence, and then trotted off to Shadowheart, probably to watch her try to build a shelter as well.

 _He's so weird_. Putting this exchange past her mind, Mereana glanced at her bedroll. It looked uncomfortable and twisted. She crossed her arms around her with desperation. It was nighttime, she was cold and she had nothing to wear but her muddy robe. She wished she had at least a blanket. Maybe a servant to tend to her manucure as well and light her fireplace. But here she was, incanting fire cantrips at the campfire to try to survive the night away.

 _How am I going to make it ?_ she asked herself. Her chance of survival seemed very low. The tadpole could turn her any moment now, from what she gathered. Or any one around her right now. And she had never lived any experience in her life that could prepare her for something like that. She decided not to talk about her past at all to anyone there, just in case they decided to try to ransom her to her mother, which she didn't put above them. And to act af is she was going fine and knowing perfectly what was going on and what she was supposed to do. This she could do. Nobles never lose their cool, even in dire times. _Chin up, girl._ _Try to look...leaderish. And if you fake it long enough, they might end up believing you._

Looking around the camp, she noticed Lae'zel checking out her bedroll with a frown and enveloping herself within her own blanket. Shadowheart had rage quit her tentative for a shelter and was eating up Gale's meal. She had probably chased Astarion too, for he was busy hanging around the place once more, now staring at the cleric's collar with fascination. _That leaves up the wizard. Where is Gale ?_

She found him examining his own reflection a little farther away. She recognized the spell easily ; she would also use it at times to check her outfit out in the city. She dared not look at whatever she was looking like right now. With luck, they'll find a place to bathe in tomorrow.

" - Why are you studying your own mirror image ?" she asked, crossing her arms over her chest to try to warm herself up.

Gale waved at his image. " - Indulging in a spot of vanity. Handsome devil, aren't I ?"

She looked at him seriously as she compared the wizard to all the previous men she had met and known. He was well built, she supposed, for a scholar. Nothing too fancy about him, but he had good hair.

" - I like your hair", she replied. " - I suppose you'd be a six."

Gale turned back to her, a bit surprised by her bluntness, but unabashed. " - That was a _rhetorical_ question. But thanks, I suppose. I do have nice hair. Though I'm hardly a six at all." He flexed his wrists and stretched his neck with a sigh. " - More of an eight. You haven't seen me without my tadpole yet. Which leads me to my next question. Ceremorphosis. What does it make you think of ? "

" - Oh gods. Don't tell me we're in for another lecture", she sighed. " - I got the picture the first time."

The wizard frowned on her reaction. " - And you are not the slightest bit curious as to understand your condition further ? Has your studies as a mage not taught you to thirst for knowledge ?"

" - I am curious as to how to get rid of it, and right now, I thirst for some wine."

" - If you already know so much about ceremorphosis, maybe you've noticed something unusual going on... ?" he asked in the tone of a professor knowing he had the upper hand over his undisciplined student.

She thought quickly about it, salvaging her memories in search of anything useful to say. _Ceremorphosis...ceremorphosis...could turn into a mindflayer any moment now...painful process, the whole body should undergo changes...symptoms start with a fever and grey skin..._ well, nothing else came to mind, so she shrugged the question off. Gale waved his arm at her, raising his eyebrows, encouraging her to try to answer the question, but upon meeting her resolved and silent expression, sighed, not even trying to hide his disappointment.

" - We have not turned yet. We have no symptoms."

It dawned on her suddenly. Gale was right. From everything she had heard about the mindflayer's reproduction process, it was supposed to be quick. And none of them had shown any symptoms.

" - My gods, you're right", she blurted out. Gale smiled back with a hint of arrogance : " - Of course I am, but it's good to be appreciated. Any expert would agree this is...abnormal."

" - Long live the abnormal", she replied in a whisper. She didn't really wish to think about the tadpole, but Gale's comment had pointed out to something. Hope, maybe ?

" - I'll drink to that. But this is merely the silence before the storm. "

" - Let's go tell the others then. They'd want to know."

They gathered around the fire to share this piece of information with the rest of the group.

" - It does not change our purpose", commented Lae'zel once Gale was over with his lecture. " - We still need to find the creche and purify ourselves. Make no mistake : however unpredictable is acting the parasite, it still needs to fulfill its mission. And it _will_ turn us."

The certainty with which the gith asserted her opinion killed all of Mereana's timid hopes of getting out of her situation alive. She found nothing else to add, and from the look of it, it had chilled down the atmosphere all around.

Shadowheart frowned and only commented : " - We should seek out as many options as possible. I don't trust this "purification" process."

" - And do you think that one of your kind could heal you from this parasite ? This is folly", replied Lae'zel coldly.

" - Fine. Then please explain to us what is the purification. What are they going to do to us, exactly ?"

" - I...cannot. This is a process known only by those who serve the creche."

Shadowheart rolled her eyes and gestured to the rest of the group. " - I think I made my point. You can do as you please, but don't expect me to just lay down and let a gith mess with my brain. "

" - When you see how your kinship treats you, then you'll turn to my solution."

" - Putting the matter of the creche aside", quickly cut in Astarion, " - this tadpole is _still_ going to turn us into monsters ? The outcome doesn't really change ? "

" - Yes," confirmed Gale. " - It is just...strangely delayed for now."

" - But we don't know _when_ it will turn us ?"

" - There is no way to tell for sure."

" - Great ! Somehow, it's even worse" whined the elf, laying back on the ground. " - Of course this sort of thing will happen to me." He wallowed back into silence.

" - Well...there's nothing to do for tonight, at least," said Mereana, pinching her nose as she felt a coming migraine throbbing in her head. " - Let's just get some rest. And hopefully, in the morning, we'll still look like our usual selves, and not wake up with squishy tentacles in our faces."

She retreated back to her bedroll, near the campfire, and rolled herself up in it as much as she could. She thought she was never going to be able to sleep in something so uncomfortable and cold. She heard a sigh as Shadowheart crashed next to her unexpectedly. She turned to look at the half-elf as she tried to curl up as well. She very pointedly didn't look at Mereana as she whispered in her usual harsh tone :

" - The stupid tent doesn't hold. Please don't say a word, I just want to sleep. I'll keep an eye on you during the night and you keep an eye on me. I don't trust the gith, nor the rogue. "

Mereana nodded without a word, relieved in some way to know that she could rely on the cleric for that. Gale remained evasive and mentioned how he needed to study some more, isolating himself from them. Lae'zel stayed a bit far away as well, purposefully marking her territory. Astarion was the only one not sleeping yet, as he had promised to take on the first few duty guards for himself. He seemed oddly happy to be alone and impatient to begin his watch ; Mereana tried to pretend to sleep to keep an eye on him, as she promised Shadowheart she would. Unfortunately, she was really too tired to fight back the sleepiness and she closed her eyes into a blissful, dreamless night of rest.


	4. 4. Saving the Blade

The next morning, they all woke up without tentacles and no one died in their sleep, so that was a good start for the day.

Mereana stretched herself, finding her body had new sore muscles that she never suspected even existed. She caught a glimpse of her sleeping neighbour, Shadowheart, weighing an empty box she had looted on her way.

" - Exercising ?" she asked.

" - I don't need to. What I need is toileting. This should contain enough water do to just that." She smirked at her. " - But you, you clearly need both."

" - Wow. Touché", Mereana pretended to lay her hand on her heart, but went on her investigation : " - Any luck I can borrow your homemade water barrel after you're done ?"

After debating the terms of contract and use of the barrel, Shadowheart eclipsed herself.

Mereana approached the fire camp where Lae'zel and Gale were busy discussing. From what she could gather, they were having a conversation about githyanki culture. It wasn't really a surprise that Gale managed to make the warrior open up a little. _Nerds._ Astarion walked up to them not soon after. No one really noticed he was absent until now.

She sat down by the now ashes and gazed unhappily into the horizon.

One hour later, they were all ready to go to the grove. According to Gale, the place wasn't far away, maybe one walking hour away.

The wizard and Lae'zel took the lead, Astarion behind them, while she and Shadowheart closed the formation. Towards the end of the hour, they did hear some noises in the background - the noises being screams and agitation.

Lae'zel came to a halt and they all gathered around her. " - We should be careful from now on", she stated, which obviously everyone agreed with. Astarion offered to do some recon, and Shadowheart proposed her help. They both came back a few minutes later.

" - We saw what looked like human mercenaries running towards a wooden door in the cliff. They were three of them, I believe", said the cleric.

" - They were pursued by half a dozen goblins and two worgs, I think", added Astarion. " - It won't be long until they clash together."

" - Then we should hurry", said Gale.

" - Hurry to what ?" asked Astarion.

" - To their rescue !"

" - To rescue the goblins ?" asked Lae'zel, frowning down on the wizard.

" - What ? No. To rescue the humans." Gale glanced at the rest of the group as if seeing them for the first time. No one seemed particularly inclined to hurry up and save the day.

" - He's right", intervened Mereana, feeling a strung of pity for Gale's leadership failure. Shadowheart scowled with disapproval. " - Come on, think about it. The goblins are not going to evaporate themselves into thin air. Let's fight them while we may have some back up with us. I mean, surely the mercenaries are going to fight them anyway, we might as well jump in !"

" - We want to make sure we flank them, then", commented Astarion. " We saw an elevation in the ground, by the gate. If you prove discreet enough, we could sneak around them and flank them from above." He deployed his hands with a charming smile. " - We could...rescue...the humans, and also take no risk during the fight."

Lae'zel rolled her yellow alien eyes, which was a weird thing to see. Mereana kept looking at her face for a few seconds after that, a bit traumatized by what she had witnessed.

" - What are you looking at ?" the gith asked abruptly.

" - Your eyes. You're so...unusual."

Lae'zel stood a little taller, staring at Mereana. " - I expect I am your first."

Mereana wasn't a very prude person, so she controlled the urge to blush, but still blurted out : " - Hardly so, but thanks for the offer."

Gale sighed. " - I don't think that she meant it like that, Mereana", he said.

Shadowheart looked at them both incredulously, and ushered : " - What are you two even - haven't we got something else to do ?"

" - Hush, hush !" intervened Astarion. " - I want to see that."

Lae'zel looked very disconcerted and skeptical, as she ran over Mereana's silhouette, probably not understanding the innuendo. " - If you had met my kind before, they would have cut you from navel to neck. Your kind is very alien to me as well. Your fleshy nose looks like a mistake." She gestured to their faces, which led to various reactions in the group.

" - Hmpf", said Shadowheart, not willing to discuss the subject furthermore.

" - Really ? I always thought it was one of my best traits", uttered Gale, absent-mindedly caressing his nose.

" - Well, I would not have put it that bluntly but you do have something wrong with your nose going on, Mereana", commented Astarion with his usual eloquent phrasé.

" - What the - _what_ " she glared daggers at the elf, and then back to Lae'zel. "- As if your upturned bat snout is any better. And that goes for you too, Astarion."

" - Mine is economical. Disciplined. Yours is just a waste of..."

However alluring their bickering might be, the group snapped out of it when they heard the screamings pitched louder. From their position, it was difficult to make out exactly what was going on, but they scampered along Astarion as he led them to the flanking ambushing site he had reckoned before.

They climbed up the pile of rocks without getting seen by either the runaways or the attackers. From what they had gathered, the humans were demanding that the gate be opened to them, but the people guarding the fort were not so inclined as they accused them of leading the enemy to them. The time they lost arguing between each other was all the time the goblins needed to catch up with them.

The group had taken position on top of the rocks, on a small cairn, hidden by some bushes. Shadowheart and Astarion had switched to their bows, while Gale and Mereana began incanting a few simple cantrips. Lae'zel was fidgeting around with a bulb they had found in the ruins of the nautiloid, which could act like a bomb if needed.

It all seemed like a situation completely under control until a real hero decided to show up.

" - Here comes the Blade of the Frontier ! Make way !"

A tall, handsome-looking man clad in leather and waving a rapier around jumped down the fort fearlessly, a spell softening his landing. Mereana would have recognized this one-eyed man anywhere, because she had already seen him around a lot at mundane events in Baldur's Gate. Her mother had invited the famed hero Wyll the Blade once or twice in their mansion, mainly to boring caritative events. The oozing charisma of the hero was the only reason Mereana had agreed to assist to these two events. She had tried to sleep with him, obviously, but had always been met with a kind but firm rebukal. This had only served to further her weird teenage-like admiration for the hero her whole social circle loved.

" - By Sune's ass ! Guys, that's the Blade !" she cried out, excitedly.

As Astarion lunged past the tree to aim an arrow at one of the goblin, he commented : " - We'll be talking about him in past tense really fast if he stays in the thick of the fight, surrounded by goblins."

Gale sneaked past his bush to have a look at the scene, and scampered back just in time to avoid an arrow in his face. " - We have to do something", he said. " - But the goblins aren't stupid. They put themselves out of reach of my spells. I can offer a strategy….- "

"- I'm not letting the guy die on me ! I'll just jump down there and cast them all to sleep real fast…"

" - No, _don't_ -" started Gale, but it was too late.

Not knowing exactly what she was doing, but filled with adrenaline and her head buzzing with excitement, Mereana ran out of her hiding spot, aimed for a lower level on the hill, and...fell on her knees on impact, as she crashed down just in front of a worg trying to climb to them. The few seconds it took her to come back to her senses were the seconds she knew she was going to regret her rash decision sorely.

" - Oh, shit."

 _The risk I took was calculated, but gods, am I bad at maths,_ she thought. Her head was still buzzing, but now it was due to the blood loss and the creeping fear. She was still on her knees, trying to get up, but wasn't quick enough to avoid the worg coming at her. The beast seized her leg in his monstrous mouth and its teeth sank in as it dragged her down with it. She screamed out in pain as her bone clicked out of its articulation and broke between the teeth of the worg. Never had she before lived anything as horrifying as this.

She suddenly felt the bite on her leg softened up as the worg suddenly flinched, an arrow piercing through its back. She managed to pull her leg away just in time before the beast fell back towards her. Mereana crawled a little to get away from the corpse, and glanced at her situation. She had not helped the Blade at all, aside from serving as a distraction to his enemies, since the goblins were now coming at her instead. So...not really what she had wanted to do, but somehow it did save the man's life, though he would probably not even notice her noble and completely unwilling sacrifice. Her entrance seemed to have make an impression though, as the Blade took a stand and jumped in front of one of her aggressors :

" - Fear not, fair lady, I'll protect you !"

Mereana cried out in pain and humiliation. She thought she was done for as the goblins drew in, but Gale and Shadowheart emerged from the bushes ; Gale just in time to cast a shocking wave spell, repelling the enemies, while the cleric launched herself towards her and hastily helped her get back up.

" - The next time you do something as stupid as that, I won't bother to revive you", she said harshly, patching her up as best as she could.

The healing magic helped Mereana focus back on the fight, as it tended to her flesh and bones, mending her wounds.

Ignoring the cleric's harsh tone, she fought back the urge to embrace her in her arms and only managed a little nod and smile at her. " - Thanks. I thought I was done for."

" - _Really_ ?"

She was finally in a good position to cast her sleeping spell, which grantly facilitated the execution of the goblin leader by the hands of Astarion. Lae'zel, on her side, managed to kill the remaining worg and the Blade remained thankfully alive. However, he dashed out as soon as the battle was over, not even a "thank you" on his lips as he left them to deal with the people holding the gate.

" - Are you, by any chance, crazy ?"

This was from Gale, crossing his arms, and looming over her with exasperation.

" - I am not crazy." She puffed her chest out and held his gaze. " - I think. Yet. Come to think of it, people call me crazy all the time."

" - Early dementia, then. Careful not to turn into one of those cyricist's bastards, on top of risking to turn into a mindflayer." His expression softened up a little after that, as he helped her get to her feet and pick up her equipment. " - It was brave. Your heart is in a good place. Let's hope you come to more senses over time."

Any second now, he was going to pat her head or something awkward like that. Mereana cringed. Fortunately, Astarion came by and thankfully stopped their conversation :

" - Oh, yes, please keep jumping just in front of our enemies next time we plan an ambush. For what ? To save a nobody's life ?" He stopped for a second, considering the situation. " - I will admit that he was good-looking, at least. And that it was refreshing to watch."

A quick glance around her made Mereana realized that Lae'zel, Astarion and Shadowheart were all scolding at her with disapproval written on their faces. The only one seemingly inclined to salute her sacrifice was Gale, and he had no idea that she had just completely fumbled around her plan.

_I have a feeling I should get used to the "scowl of disapproval" with those guys around._


	5. 5. Splitting teams

They were invited to enter the grove, only to discover the tension between the tieflings refugees and the druids. Of course, they were asked to do something about it, and Mereana had agreed to help the refugees however she could reach Baldur's Gate. This had gained her another round of "the smirk of disapproval" as Shadowheart strongly protested her decision.

She could somehow understand her companions' reasoning : they needed a cure to get rid of the tadpole fast, and had no time to lose meddling with the quests and lives of every one they encountered. She actually agreed with this ; but she failed to see how having no ally, no money, no equipment and no healer was actually a good thing. This has led to another squabble within the group, and they had decided to split up for the morning. Lae'zel and Gale were going to look for rumors around the githyanki patrol that some tiefling pretended to have spotted ; hopefully this would lead them to a trail for the creche. Shadowheart was investigating the druid lead, trying to know more about this "Halsin" person and find out his apprentice. Astarion and Mereana had decided to tackle the very important task that was getting some real adventuring equipment.

She soon found out that what Astarion meant by "getting his hands on stuff" what literally looting everything that wasn't firmly attached or watched over by his owner. Her role was to keep the merchants busy and reckoning the most interesting stuff in their inventory while the elf snuck up in their store and stole everything of value.

They had worked their duo to a nice rhythm now.

" - This does not bother you ?" asked the elf, putting a wealthy-looking ring into his pocket that he just stole from a passerby.

" - No, why ?"

" - Well, you did say you were going to help the tieflings, and now we're robbing them blind, so I was wondering if there was any sort of cohesive thought in this pretty head of yours."

Mereana felt a bit taken aback. She hadn't stopped to give any thoughts to her moral compass. Did she even have one ? Most of the time, she just went with her feelings. And stealing did not feel wrong. She liked to have things. When she wanted something, back in Baldur's Gate, she would just ask for it and somebody would give it to her. Stuff just...appeared out of thin air into her room. She could have whims as a grown-up and no one questioned her attitude. She just led her life, knowing deeply inside of her that the rest of the world was hers for the taking and with the firm intuition that her will was enough to create the way.

" - When I want something, I like to take it," she replied smugly.

" - Good for you. It's something to think about, isn't it ? I find your attitude very inspiring. " Astarion delivered another one of his weird, half-upward smirk she could not decipher. He seemed to be thinking to himself quite a lot and she had no idea what was going on inside his head. He suddenly grabbed her arm and pointed to an old lady surrounded by potions :

" - Let's go see the demented old lady. I love demented people. "

" - Just remember to grab the potions on the way."

" - Of course. Who do you think I am ?"

As they entertained the old merchant lady, named Ethel, to their story - Astarion having decided that he would just deliver their whole tadpole problem to her to see how she would react - and after having robbed her store, they continued their looting and bantering adventures. It seemed, however, that their multiple thefts had intrigued the merchant community who had reunited together to look after the culprit. Mereana purposefully led them to believe that they spotted a thief running away towards the gate, and they commonly decided to call it a day and not push their chances farther.

Mereana sat on a pile of sacks laying around (this grove was awfully layered with empty boxes and sacks), watching over Gale and Lae'zel in the distance interrogating a tiefling. From this distance, she could not make out what they were saying, but she enjoyed the horrified expression on Gale's face as Lae'zel asserted her dominance over the unfortunate tiefling, who was bowing to her in an extremely awkward way. She thought about intervening over to stop the show before they attracted more attention, but she enjoyed the slight feeling of pleasure over seeing Gale trying to get control over the situation and failing. _However smart you are, stupid handsome wizard, you're actually no better than me with these crazy companions. Eh._

Astarion was fidgeting around, like he mostly did, examining his loot for the day but something seemed to cross his mind as he walked to her.

" - Which one do you think suits my complexion better ? Red or green ?" he asked, handing her over two silver rings stolen this morning.

He looked at the pile of sacks with disdain, then sighed and carefully dusted them over with his hand before sitting down.

Mereana compared the rings, holding them to the feeble ray of light passing through the cave to give it a thought.

" - With your skintone, silver is always a good option. I find it a bit forgettable myself, but with your complexion, there's no other way around it. Of course, I'll go with gold myself. Some of us don't look completely anemic and sun-deprived."

He chuckled to himself and coughed a little before snatching the rings back. " - Tell me something I don't know, dear."

" - I think the green one's better. You should stick to cold tones."

Astarion winced. " - Green. Distasteful. It just makes me look sick. Plus, it has no personality to it." He put the ring back in his pocket and chose to put the red one on.

" - _Why_ do you ask for my opinion if you don't care about it ?" replied Mereana with annoyance, rolling her eyes to the ceiling.

" -. You don't exactly strike me as the sort of person to take fashion advice from. I mean, look at this. " He waved at her, not pointing to anything in particular, which was quite vexing. She sniffed and glared back at him angrily. He added quickly : " I do have an interest in your opinion at times. For example, I'd like to know how you would prefer getting killed ?"

" - _What ?_ "

" - In case you entered the final stages of the tadpole transformation. If any one in our merry little group is about to turn into a mindflayer, I'd like to know how you would prefer to die. Poison, perhaps ? A good old stabbing to the heart ? Or something more inventive ? Enlighten me."

Mereana looked at her companion, trying to decide if he was being serious or not. It was an odd question, coming from someone who had tried to kill her recently. It dawned on her that Astarion was probably not the sanest person in the group. Well, she did like crazy, stupid questions, so she went with it (but noted to herself to keep her distance from the rogue, just in case.)

" - Oh, so it's like a "kill, marry, bang" game ? Played those a lot. So, I'd say...for myself, I think I'd rather get stabbed. Something quick and efficient."

Astarion seemed to approve. " - A classic. And still it makes for a good final scenography. It's a good choice."

" - How would _you_ like getting killed ? Poison ? Stabbing as well ? Set on fire ? Pushed from the edge of a cliff ?"

The elf stroked his chin thoughtfully. "- I always thought decapitation was a good way to go. A good swing" he demonstrated the gesture " and there you go. It seems like a fitting end."

" - Oooo-kay", well, that wasn't what she had expected, but the rogue seemed happy with himself and glad of the conversation, so she decided to drop the subject of his mental health for now.

They waited for a while still, but were soon reunited with Lae'zel and Gale. Shadowheart was the latest to join them. Astarion went on his questioning with the rest of the group. Well, the results were that Lae'zel didn't like being posed stupid questions, Shadowheart refused to answer that, and Gale had winced and replied on a weirdly serious tone that it was in everyone's best interest for him not to die any time soon. The intensity of his tone had succeeded in making Astarion back away a little, and probably prevented Lae'zel from just punching him in the face.

They were starting to talk about their leads and ideas, when Mereana spotted the Blade in the distance, playing with a bunch of tieflings kids. Instantly, the chatter and bickering of the group melded in the background as she felt her heart rate beat a little bit faster. She stared at his athletic figure while he was busy trying to learn some sort of martial defense to a kid, her mind taking her to most pleasant places than a dusty old druid grove in the middle of nowhere. She did love men who rolled around in the dirt with muscles sweating. Well, there wasn't much rolling around in the dirt involved yet, but she bet there were muscles sweating.

" - Mereana, are you listening to us ?"

This came from Shadowheart, who had noticed her absent expression and squinted her eyes with discontent. Mereana's mind raced back to her as she quickly tried to remember whatever nonsense her companions had been uttering in the past minute. From the air of it, they had been busy debating something and Lae'zel and Shadowheart seemed the most displeased one, so she guessed that it had been about the creche.

" - I pick auntie Ethel's lead", she said, assuming that they were arguing about which lead to go after first. And, from the look of it, she had been right as Lae'zel cursed in her language with a very obvious tone of disappointment. She didn't need a translation to understand that she was appealing to their stupidity.

Mereana stood up and ignored the group's banter once again to walk towards the Blade, trying to put on her best looking-smile and adjusting her robe to get a little bit more cleavage. She spat in her hands quickly and brushed back her dark hair behind her ears.

She pretended to lay back innocently on the wall close to the Blade's training ground. She took on a pensive expression, hoping to get the "mysterious-effortless-dark-raven-beauty-look" she was aiming for, and watched over the fight.

 _Sune's be blessed, the man is charming as hell,_ she thought, and then looked down to the kid failing to parry his attack. _You, kid, on the other hand, are ugly as fuck. What the heck is that bonnet on your head ?_ Which was probably not a very nice thing to think about, and she felt a pang of guilt over her own thoughts.

_Just go there and talk to him, girl, but don't mention the kids at all._

Gathering her courage and years of seductive approach experience, she walked casually to the Blade and said, in her most suave voice :

" - Hey there, can I have a word ?" She instantly cringed over how stupidly over-the-top she sounded.

_Ewwww. That was bad._

The Blade noticed her just as their minds started doing this weird connection thing it had done with Lae'zel, Shadowheart, Astarion and Gale before. She suddenly saw something from the Blade's perspective, a scene which she knew was important but had no context to understand. She had felt the same thing with the others, and she had hated it. If there was one thing Mereana never wished for, it was to know what thoughts were racing through the other's brain. She wanted nothing to do with it. It was enough of a mess living with her own. And she hated the idea that they too had seen something in her head - but what ?

If these scenes were somehow representative of them, then she had no idea what kind of lives her companions had lived before but they were weird as hell. Why did the Blade had a rusty-looking creature with wings in his mind ?

Hers must have been pretty common though. Probably her companions had just felt very hungover for a second. Or they assisted to some sort of mundane ball held in her mansion. Perhaps both at the same time, this would not be impossible.

" - Hey. I'll be damned, you were on the ship as well ! And it was you who nearly died to a worg just this morning, trying to save those mercenaries" suddenly exclaimed the Blade, turning his attention to her.

He seemed oddly enthusiastic about meeting her. She pushed back the strange image of the creature she saw in his mind and tried to focus on their discussion.

" - Yup,it was me", she replied, stroking her temples with unease. _Not my best line. Didn't I use to be better at this ?_

While she was making contact with the man, the rest of her group had followed her and they now gathered around the place. From their expression, they had felt the mind-connection as well.

The Blade introduced himself as Wyll (which was a bit of a letdown in Mereana's eyes) and they began sharing their stories. Unfortunately, Wyll wasn't much more advanced than they were in terms of finding a healer. But at least, he came with a plan :

" - We better find Halsin. He's a powerful healer, he could probably help us. Problem is, he's been nabbed by the goblins."

" - Great. We could probably find him together ?" suggested Mereana before any one of her companions could interject.

Wyll smiled warmly : " Excellent idea. But I have a condition."

The hero explained how he was planning to take down the goblin leaders, and said something about saving kids on the way. _Ew, kids again. Boring. But I suppose saving their lives isn't all that bad._ Truth is, Mereana didn't truly listen and would have accepted any condition of any kind just to have the chance of travelling with the hero. She was busy thinking about how she was going to make all of her friends in Baldur's Gate so completely jealous of her, and heartily agreed to kill the goblins. She didn't care much about them anyway, and they needed to find this healer druid, so it was all going more or less according to their initial plans.

Of course, Astarion and Shadowheart disagreed with her promise to kill the goblin leaders and help the tieflings.

" - We just don't have time", sighed the cleric. " Why can't you understand that ?"

" - You're right. We don't have much time", replied Mereana as an idea crossed her mind over. She glanced over the group. They were quite numerous now, a bit too much to keep on sneaking around discreetly.

" - I think that in order to gain us some time, and to stay efficient enough, we should split up between teams. A team of four and a team of two. This way we can cover more ground and some of us can investigate further away - I don't, read books about illithids, interrogate people or something. What do you think ?"

" - It's...actually a good idea. We have better chances with fewer people around", agreed Shadowheart with reluctance. Mereana instantly knew the cleric was just playing her act, but was actually hoping to get separated from Lae'zel.

" - As long as we don't stay in the camp, doing nothing. I don't want to waste any time." replied Gale. " - But we should still stay close to each other."

" - I have a map of the region", offered Wyll. " - We could agree every day on where to go and what to do, and on a meeting place at night."

It took them some time, but they finally agreed on this.

Mereana thought that agreeing on a team composition was going to be the hardest part, but it went actually really smoothly.

" - As Gale and I are both wizards, we should probably be on different teams", she offered.

 _This way, I won't seem replaceable_ , she thought. This would deprive her of the only person that seemed to enjoy her company and approve of her decisions, and also from a fine looking beard to look at, but Mereana had her ego and liked to feel unique in the band.

" - A sensible proposal. I agree", said Gale. " - So here comes the uncomfortable moment where we call out names to go with us, I suppose ?"

_Well, yeah, I guess so. And there's no way I'm letting you have Wyll on your team._

Mereana took advantage of Gale's sense of decency and hesitation to impose himself as a de facto leader. Gale was intelligent, and he thought things through. He would try to flatter everyone's feelings in order to avoid making enemies or dissension between them, as they needed each other to find a cure for the tadpole. Mereana was much more direct and reckless, and she would pick the guy she wanted, and it didn't matter if she was going to offend her companions along the way. They kept disapproving everything she did anyway.

" - I wish to investigate Halsin's location and I take this goblin matter very seriously," she declared in a confident tone. She saw Astarion smirking to himself as he probably read through her poker face and glared daggers at him, hoping he would not ruin her moment. " - Wyll, could you accompany me ?" she asked, turning towards the hero and fluttering her blue eyes at him.

It worked like a charm, though she had no idea if it was due to the fluttering, or the mention of the goblin. Wyll seemed to like talking about goblins. Gale's face at her unshameful behavior was also priceless.

" - I'll go with Mereana", suddenly said Shadowheart. The half-elf didn't look very happy with her decision though, as she had shown before that she preferred the rational and prudent mind of Gale over Mereana's rash behavior.

 _Great ! I have the cleric on my team ! I have no idea why, but here we stand._ Mereana smiled smugly to Gale.

" - Then Gale and I will work together and continue working the whereabouts of the creche", declared Lae'zel, not leaving any chance to the wizard to state his own decision. The warrior surely blessed the opportunity to get away from Shadowheart. " - We can part ways and meet tonight again."

" - You'll probably need Astarion with you then. His talents may prove useful to your exploration team", added Gale purposefully, looking over at the rogue who had watched the debate with great curiosity.

" - Flattering to be the last one on everyone's list", muttered the elf, seemingly vexed. " I could just go and take my chances alone, you know."

Obviously, they all thought that Astarion was useful, but the way the rogue kept inquiring about how they all wished to be assassinated probably rubbed everyone the wrong way.

Mereana tried to keep up a charming smile, so as not to show her true face to Wyll just yet, though she wanted to get back at Gale for dumping the most untrustworthy companion to her.

" - We'll definitely need you, Astarion. That's, if you want to ? ", she said prudently.

" - Fine, I'll go with it", said Astarion. He added with a half-smile : " - Your team looks more appetising anyway."


	6. 6. Trust issues

Before settling to their outside adventure, though, they still needed to find Nettie, the local healer and Halsin's apprentice. Wyll doubted that she would be able to help them, but they decided to meet her anyway, in case they could learn anything useful about Halsin or about their tadpole issue.

They encountered Nettie farther away in the grove, secluded in a natural cave and isolated from the other druids. She was a dwarven women of young age, with a soft but firm expression on her face ; and she was busy talking to a bird when they came into her shelter.

" - I see you. Just give me a moment."

Shadowheart sighed and crossed her arms, visibly impatient to get it over with. Astarion was already sneaking around the room, clearly intrigued by the equipment of the healer and the various glowing religious icons disposed across the place.

Wyll stood patiently next to Mereana, waiting for the young healer to finish her conversation with her familiar. The dwarf whispered to the bird a few more seconds, then let it freely fly through a natural window in the cave. She turned her attention to them as if being disturbed from more important thoughts.

" - Now, what is it you needed ?" asked the dwarf.

"- I need healing, and I hear you were the most competent healer in the grove", began Mereana.

" - Untrue. Halsin, my mentor, is by far better than me." The druid squinted her eyes, eyeing the lot of them with suspicion. " - Who needs healing in your group ?"

Mereana took a quick glance at her companions. Shadowheart was very pointedly looking at her back and very slowly shaking her head.

" - I do", the mage said, deciding to go with the truth. " - I've been feeling unwell lately."

" - Really ? Let's take a look at you, then. Do you want to keep your friends around or would you rather be alone ? " asked the healer very professionally, while taking her hands and leading her to sit on one of her medical benchtop.

" - Oh, they can stay."

" - Let me see you closer...well, I don't see any problem with you. You look maybe a little tired around the eyes", said the healer, leaning in to put her fingers around her face and touching various areas of her upper body to check if everything was all right.

 _My eyes are tired because something put a freaking illithid baby in it. Oh, that feels gross._ Mereana shivered upon remembering the tadpole sliding its way behind her eye and into her brain.

There was something about the dwarf that was...trustworthy. She looked competent enough, and reliable. And mostly, she looked...good. Mereana had a feeling that Nettie had a kind heart and was the type of person to have values. And since she wanted to get on her good side, she decided to play along with her intuition and to act honestly. With luck, this would appeal to the healer's compassion and get them some answers.

" - I got captured by monsters. And they put a tadpole in me."

" - A tadpole ? A _mindflaye_ r tadpole ?" Nettie's expression changed as she backed away a little. She looked shaken, but quickly recovered her cool and regained her professional composure.

_I don't know if this is good or not. But I told her, so I have to go through with it._

Wyll and Shadowheart seemed to notice the change of attitude in the healer, as they exchanged a quick glance behind her back. Shadowheart pursed her lips together, moving soundlessly towards the exit and checking that the place was closed to the other druids. Curiously enough, Wyll didn't seem to mind the cleric's sketchy behavior and positioned himself near Mereana, cutting into their conversation :

" - Is there anything you can do ?" he asked politely.

He didn't seem threatening at all, but clearly he was reminding the healer that her patient wasn't alone and defenseless. Nettie's eyes flickered with something Mereana could not quite read - fear ? pity ?

" - Yes. I think I can. At least there's something I can try, but not here. Come, follow me ; let's get to Halsin's lab. He was working on something that you may have an interest in", replied the healer, turning her attention back to Mereana.

The mage felt a surge of relief and inhaled deeply. " - Great", she murmured, as Wyll flashed a smile to the druid. Well, the druid didn't turn immediately hostile and had not screamed yet to ask her friends to kill them all, so maybe Mereana's intuition was alright after all. Sometimes in life, you just had to have faith in people.

The dwarf led them to a panel in the stone walls, which she manipulated quickly by chanting a few words to herself. Mereana could not make out what she was saying, but she knew Nettie was using the secret language only druids learned to speak amongst themselves.

Astarion whistled with admiration : " - A secret passage. Isn't it exciting ?" and confidently strided in behind the dwarf, following her closely.

" - I don't have a good feeling about this", whispered Shadowheart behind her shoulder. The half-elf looked nervously around as the panel of stone creaked and slowly opened, showing them to another secluded place. From the looks of it, they were entering an old library that was kept hidden here. The room was constructed in a circle and littered with old books and journals. But what immediately drew everyone's attention was the corpse of a drow elf, laying on a table of cold stone in the room, nearby a desk full of notes and potions. Astarion walked by to him and leaned over to examine the body.

" - Definitely dead, in case you were wondering. How unfortunate ", he sighed.

" - Okay. What's going on here ?" asked Mereana, frowning down on Nettie. The druid raised her hands in sign of peace :

" - This one had the same problem as you. He attacked us, in the forest." She paused. " - We're in master Halsin's office. He was working on something to cure the people infected with the tadpole. That's how he disappeared. " She fidgeted uneasily and grabbed something on a desk nearby.

She was holding a sort of branch with thorns. She paused a little awkwardly, considering the branch, and turned to Mereana, purposefully ignoring the others :

" - Give me your arm."

" - Wait a second", intervened Wyll, eyeing the branch distrustfully. " - What's that ?"

" - A cure for your friend. The tadpole could crawl out of her head anytime soon and there's no telling when she's gonna end up like our drow friend over here. So, do you want to waste time playing games ?"

Wyll shrugged his shoulders and turned towards Mereana, whispering : " - It's your call, but I wouldn't do it if I were you."

" - Don't do anything dumb ", added Shadowheart. " - We can work with what we find here first."

Mereana inhaled and quickly held her arm over to the healer. " - If it can work, then I have to try. I trust you", she said to the dwarf.

Nettie's face froze when she said that and that's when Mereana knew she was fucked. She tried to put her arm back to her as fast as she could, but the healer was faster and stronger ; she held out her wrist in her hand and suddenly cut her with the thorny branch. Mereana looked down in horror, half-expecting her arm to turn green and fall down any second now. But nothing happened ; she just had a scratch from where the druid wounded her.

The few seconds were enough for Wyll to draw his blade and Shadowheart cursed between her teeth before abruptly seizing Mereana's arm to examine it closer.

 _She's stronger than she looks_ , thought Mereana, feeling the cleric's solid grip around her arm.

" - Poison", stated Shadowheart coldly. " - See, I told you. But maybe you have an audition problem I don't know about. "

" - Well, yes, but _someone_ had to try something. We won't get anything done if we don't take a chance !" replied Mereana angrily, feeling that she was losing her temper. She had not expected Shadowheart to show any sort of consideration to her, but still her snarky demeanor was getting on her nerves.

Wyll was now threatening the healer with his rapier, and the druid had her back to the wall. Astarion loomed in closer, but didn't look worried at all about the situation. He had the look of a spectator watching a circus show. He only lacked the popcorn to complete his attitude.

" - It's painless !" cried out Nettie, looking at Mereana. " - I swear it's painless. I cannot do anything to help you, but...but I have to do something to protect the people around you." She turned her eyes towards Wyll. " - You have to understand, your friend could turn any moment. She could be a danger to everyone around her. It's just...there's no other way. You have to let her go."

Her appeal was met with a concerned silence, as Wyll purposefully avoided to mention that he was infected with a tadpole just the same as everyone in the room. " - How do you feel ?" asked the Blade to Mereana softly.

" - Nothing for now", she replied, getting her arm back from Shadowheart's grip. She closed in on the dwarf, cleared her throat, and suddenly felt a rush of vertigo take over her. She grabbed the desk before her legs totally gave way, and her eyes opened wide with incredulity.

" - That bitch really did poison me ! "

 _I should not have said that._ Clearly menacing the healer wasn"t going to be helpful. She needed to appeal to her guilt or conscience or whatever. She felt a drip of sweat between her shoulder blades. _How quick is the poison exactly ?_

" - I'll be damned. Nettie, please. This doesn't have to go sideways. Just give us the antidote", demanded Wyll calmly, still threatening the druid with his blade.

Shadowheart was already looting over the flasks in the desk, looking for anything that might look like an antidote. But from her expression, she wasn't finding anything useful.

And as for Astarion, he was openly smiling, as if watching something fun, and not doing anything at all to help. _Traitorous bastard._

" - I'm truly, truly sorry. But I can't do that."

" - You're signing my death warrant here", went on Mereana, inhaling sharply. Time to appeal to the healer's pity and be persuasive about it. With luck the druid would forget she just called her a bitch. " - The tadpole is dormant. I'm not even changing. Please - " she quickly brushed her eyes with her sleeve, pretending to hide some tears and let her voice tremble a little. " - I have promised to look after Halsin. We still have time to find him. We still have time."

" - Maybe, but that's a hell of a chance. It could be a matter of days, or seconds. No one can tell."

" - If no one can tell, then who are you to make the call ? You don't know either. If there's a chance - then we have to take it. Please. I trusted you, and told you the truth about me. "

Somehow her plea for help must have worked out, as Nettie's face cringed in various states of guilt and sadness. Finally the healer said : " - Fine. You're right. I'll give you the antidote. "

Wyll seathed his blade back to let the healer move, and flashed a brief smile of encouragement to Mereana. " - I'm glad we found a peaceful solution", he said solemnly.

 _Peaceful ? She was ready to put my corpse next to our drow friend over there and cut me open !_ But Mereana refrained from fulminating out loud, no matter how tempting it felt. She just needed to keep her calm a few more seconds.

Nettie launched herself towards the desk, pushing Shadowheart over. " - But first, take this vial of poison", suddenly said the healer, drawing a flask from her pocket and holding it out to Mereana.

" - What, again ? Is this a joke ? " Mereana asked incredulously.

Nettie looked at her eyes deeply, trying to see through her : " - It's wyvern poison. It's really powerful, really quick. Promise me you'll drink it if you begin to feel the symptoms."

Mereana was beginning to feel a bit numb, but she tended her hand to reach for the poison. She looked back at the healer, and felt herself a pang of guilt over how she just deftly lied to her. Nettie seemed like a good person. She didn't deserve to be manipulated this way. " - I can't promise that."

The druid's eyes turned to stone. " - Then I can't help you. Kill me if you have to. You'll never find the antidote. It's well hidden."

_Shit. Why did I tell her the truth ?_

Completely disarmed by how sour her situation was going, Mereana blinked blankly into space. She heard Wyll swear besides her as he drew his blade once more. " - I don't have time to play games, Nettie. Tell me where the antidote is, right now ! " he ordered aggressively.

" - I am not !" shouted the dwarf back, and she began casting a spell towards them - a spell she could not quite finish, though, as Astarion's daggers suddenly pierced her throat. The dwarf's face locked into an expression of shock as her body slowly slided to his feet, and she drew a few ragged breaths before gurgling herself to death in her own blood.

Mereana's head felt lighter still as she watched the healer's death, both feeling kind of satisfied that she got her revenge, and also horrified by the scene, and also desperate that Astarion's actions was depriving her of the antidote.

" - It was drawing on, don't you think ?" he said calmly as every one's attention turned to him. He crouched down to cleanse his blades against the druid's clothings, and stared at her corpse still gurgling with a curiously blank expression on his face. He passed an elegant hand to his face, hiding away his face for a few seconds.

" - You just straight up murder her", said Wyll coldly. " - How are we going to know where's the damn antidote now ?"

Come to think of it, it was weird from a noble parangon like Wyll to show so much pragmatism in this situation. He didn't seem really bothered by Nettie's assassination, and more by the lack of antidote. Wyll's interjection made Astarion snap out of whatever was going on inside his mind and the elf hastily got up and away from the corpse, heading towards Mereana. He seemed more distant than usual, but no one truly noticed or cared about his odd behavior, more concerned by the situation at hands.

" - I didn't find anything useful on the desk. But maybe she has it somewhere in her pockets", suggested Shadowheart.

" - Yes. Good idea", muttered Mereana, trying to get to the corpse. But she felt the world spinning once more and resolved to stay firmly attached to the desk.

" - Fortunately, I already found the antidote. I pickpocketed it out of her while she was leading us in. Didn't know what it was, but it seemed precious." Astarion smiled to them, and revealed a flask of translucent liquid he has was hiding all along in his pocket. He held the flask to the light in a flamboyant gesture, as if waiting for some applause.

" - You had it all along and didn't say a word about it ?" asked Shadowheart incredulously. " - Then why did you kill Nettie ?"

" - Why not ? She started it, after all", shrugged the elf, visibly disappointed that no one congratulated him on stealing the dwarf and saving the day.

Mereana hastily grabbed the flask he was handing her and gulped it down in a second, hoping from the bottom of her heart that it wasn't another trick or that Astarion had not confused the antidote vial with another poison. There were too many poisons in here. Hopefully, nothing bad happened and she felt her strength coming back to her.

" - Are you all right, dear ?" asked Astarion politely, scrutinizing her face for any sign of incoming death.

" - Better. It's working." She passed a hand over her face, trying to gather herself once more and chase the feeling of embarrassment coming over her. " - Thanks."

" - You owe me one", replied the elf in a low voice, so as only to be heard by her.

 _That tone is foreshadowing,_ she thought to herself. She had no time to dwell on it though, as Wyll took her by the shoulders and led her a little bit farther away, while Shadowheart and Astarion were busy searching the place for a way to exit the library.

" - You might consider lying next time", he said warmly. " - We don't have to tell the truth about our tadpoles to everyone we meet. Halsin is the only one we can trust. Just a thought to think about, eh ? You'll be all right."

He let go of her shoulders and joined the others, leaving Mereana to herself and to her creeping sense of embarrassment.


	7. 7. A restless night

Nettie was dead and had not been able to provide them with any substantial information, but the library she led them in concealed quite a lot of interesting notes and documents either directly written by Halsin or studied by him. They read a few extracts, to try to understand what happened to the drow corpse laying on the stone table ; but none of Mereana's companions seemed really at ease with the thought of spending a few hours reading some old books. The mage decided to drop the most interesting documents in her bag and to hand them over to Gale tonight, at camp. Most of the notes were written in codes or unusual languages that none of the other adventurers knew how to speak anyway. The few things of interest Mereana had the time to decipher were that Halsin had decided to go out to an old temple of Selûne where he believed that he would find answers about the tadpoles.

Fortunately, Wyll had heard of the temple and could locate it approximately on his map. To reach it, their team would need to cross a few villages who were bound to be invaded by gnolls or goblins by now. Apparently, the region had been overrun with them - and strange as it seems, they were led by drows, if they were to believe Halsin's journal. It was surprising, mostly because drows were not usually found outside of the Underdark, but also because they would not form alliances with races they consider inferior. And though they tried to make sense of it, they could not picture any sort of way where goblins would seem like good partners choices to drows. From what she had learnt about drow society during her studies at the Academy, Mereana vaguely knew that they were known to enslave the most primitive races and use them as meat shields on the battlefields. Why would they have an interest in a druid's grove on the Sword Coast was beyond her understanding. She needed to consult with Gale and have him take a deeper look at Halsin's notes. Maybe he'd come up with something to explain this mess.

They managed to find a way out of the hidden library, by making their way through underground tunnels. The rest of the day wasn't exactly relaxing ; they fought off some harpies, wandered into the wilds, and nearly got killed by an owlbear. To Mereana's great pleasure, nearly everyone in the group had some moment of fumbling failure ; Wyll nearly got drowned while they were fighting the harpies, Shadowheart was knocked down during their fight with the owlbear, and Astarion had badly burnt himself trying to open an unusual golden chest they had found in the owlbear cave.

So when the sun finally set, no one really protested when Mereana suggested to get back to the camp location they had agreed on with Gale and Lae'zel earlier this day. Battered, wounded, tired, and looking awful, they retreated to the nearest waypoint to make the trip back to a safer location.

The camping site that been commonly decided upon was a place down the river, located near a magical waypoint. Wyll had been able to suggest it to them, because he had used the site before in his adventures ; it was hidden in the vegetation and only accessible through a narrow path in the forest, and concealed an old tower in ruins that had long crumbled down on itself. It was secluded, off-the-paths, and the clearing was large enough for them all to have some space and privacy.

When they reached the place, Gale and Lae'zel were already here, setting up their newly acquired tents. The scent of homemade stew tickled Mereana's nostrils. _Gale cooked another dinner ? Gods, this man is just so good._

The group spent the evening putting up their tents and bedrolls, and quickly briefed each other in as they ate Gale's stew with approval. Lae'zel and Gale had found out a little bit more about the location of the githyanki patrol ; they were heading far north from the grove, into a place the locals called "Waukeen's rest." However, they had learnt that it would prove a challenge to find them ; the roads were overrun by gnolls and no traveller had come through these last few days. Gale and Lae'zel felt that they would need the full team to make it through.

No one really chatted much more after that, mostly because everyone was too wounded and tired to think straight. Mereana gladfully stumbled back into her new tent, and let herself fall over her bedroll, wishing for a good night's rest before entering their first village tomorrow.

Unfortunately, this was not going to be a good night at all.

And that was due to Astarion's decision to prowl around in the night into her tent. Mereana was so tired that she had no idea how exactly she heard him, sneaky as he was, but she somehow felt his presence through her sleep. She woke up in a blink, flinching, only to find herself inches across Astarion's face, who was looming over her awkwardly with his mouth open.

His face froze as his expression turned into a "oh shit" moment, but the truth was that Mereana was definitely the most freaked out of the two. Without thinking, she elbowed him in the jaw, and he backed off her with a painful wince.

" - The hell are you _doing_ \- "

The elf panicked, and waved his hands around, trying to calm her down :

" - No, no - please, this is not what it looks like. _I swear !_ " His eyes kept drifting towards the exit of the tent and back to her, and he looked oddly intense and despaired.

Well, she didn't care about his feelings, and was definitely ready to call out her nearby friends. Surely someone was on duty guard. Someone like...well...it was Astarion's turn. So actually they would all be sleeping. Still, they would come to her if she needed help, right ?

As she opened her mouth to call out for Wyll, the elf launched himself forward and put his hands over her mouth.

" - Please hear me out ! I wasn't going to hurt you."

He deftly took his hands off her mouth just before she tried to bite his fingers.

" - Why should I listen to you ? You creeped over my bedroll in the middle of the night ! If you have something good to say to explain yourself, do it _now_ " snarled Mereana angrily, fuzzling around in her blanket to throw it away with her legs, before getting up on her feet, facing him.

" - Well, I - " Astarion looked at her as if overwhelmed by the situation " - I...uh...needed... blood."

She stared in silence at him, waiting for further explanations, because right now it didn't truly make sense for her.

He stared back at her, his head slightly lowered with embarrassment.

She kept staring.

He stared back more incredulously this time, frowning over as she didn't seem to understand what he was implying.

" - Mereana, I'm a -" he began.

" - Oh, gods. You're a - oh. _Ooooooh_. Oh. Oh, _fuck me_. You ? _Really ?_ " This was worth a facepalm at least, maybe two, as she started to pace around the tent nervously. " - But how come - oh gods, I can't believe it. And that dead board we found ? That was _you_ too ? "

How come they had not realized it sooner ? Come to think of it, Astarion had not been especially discreet about it. For Mystra's sake, he had fangs. And here she had thought it was just some fancy cosmetic transformation. But no, it was real fangs, and he'd been all over her, - bloody hell he'd been trying to bite her in her sleep. Consternation, anger, fear and disgust washed over her and she felt the need to bash something or maybe vomit, but certainly not stay face-to-face with Astarion any longer.

" - It's not what you think", he pleaded pathetically. " I'm not a monster !"

The only thing that was preventing her from completely panicking and trying to kill him was how lost and vulnerable he acted and sounded. They were both freaking out at each other and she supposed that an exterior spectator could find it funny, but it wasn"t funny at all actually, because Astarion had obviously thought that she was a good midnight snack, and of course she considered herself to be a snack in a metaphorical, sexual way, but certainly not in a litteral, blood-drinking way.

" - You have to believe me. I never drank off sentient creatures before. Animals - that's what I feed on. Just like the boar." He winced uneasily, a mixture of shame and fear on his face. " - But I'm...well there's this dream I made and...I supposed I wanted to see if - " he paused awkwardly, checking to see if she understood what he was saying, but in truth she had no idea what he was talking about.

Noticing her perplexity, he added more firmly : " - I'm just too slow right now to catch anything. Too weak. I haven't fed for too long. And the day we had ? All the blood we spilled ? I'm starving to death. I just - I need it. Just a little. I could think better. I could fight better. My mind would be clearer. _Please._ "

Mereana noticed that she was sweating, and dried off her palms onto her thighs, still trying to make up her mind about the situation. She felt her tongue become dry in her mouth and her pulse rate increased. She didn't know how to react or what to do. She had never expected to find herself face to face with a vampire pleading for her blood. Like, it would be easier if he just...poofed out in a cloud of smoke or something, or was more threatening and not just begging for a drop of blood. It didn't seem like something real vampires do. She actually waited a few seconds longer to see if Astarion would change his attitude, revealing that all of this was an act and a lie, and jumped at her throat to end her. She wasn't sure she was going to be able to make a run for her life but she would gladly try.

But the elf didn't move and didn't seem aggressive at all. He looked so sincerely despaired and swallowed up in his own mental conflict that he didn't even notice how frightened and vulnerable she felt right now, which was good, because she didn't want to look like the frightened unexperienced little noble girl she knew she really was on the inside.

" - Why didn't you tell me ?" she asked, trying to gain herself some time. She knew he was waiting for her to offer some blood, he had made that very clear, but she was trying to delay her response. Well, she probably would not have reacted gracefully to such an introduction.

" - At best, I was sure you'd say no. At worst, that you'd stake through my ribs."

"- We still have time for this", she mumbled uneasily.

" - I needed you to trust me. And you _can_ trust me", he said deeply, trying to sound as convincing as possible, which made it even worse. Mereana cringed and backed off, crossing her arms nervously around her chest.

" - How can I ? You just tried to bite me in my sleep !"

" - Well, yes, but - it's not like we have a choice ! " Astarion's eyes flickered with irritation. " - We need each other to get rid of those tadpoles. Trust me, if there was any other way...But I need my strength. You need me strong. And I need you alive. If I truly wanted you any harm, I wouldn't not have helped you earlier. Remember the druid's poison ? Wasn't I the one to recover the antidote for you ?" Mimicking her attitude, he crossed his arms as well, in a stubborn-looking way, though the desperation that fueled his behavior was clear as day right now.

Astarion didn't add anything, but he didn't need to ; Mereana knew full well that he was implying that she owed him a favor. She glared angrily at the vampire's face, but he refused to turn into a bat and disappeared, much to her dismay. Plus, she had a feeling she wasn't being told the whole story, but could not quite place why she felt that way.

" - I suppose you did !" she blurted out finally, shouting her arms in the air with exasperation.

" - It will only be a taste, I swear. Just enough to get me better. Then I will be off, and we'll never need to do this again, and you'll be fine, and everything will be normal again. "

" - Fine ! I'll do it. This is _crazy_ \- but I'll do it." She inhaled sharply, trying to focus. Astarion hesitated and made a step towards her, which she interrupted with a finger raised in the air. " - It's just a drop. Take what you need and go. And let's never talk about this ever again."

" Of course. Not one drop more", he said. His sincere surprise at her decision slightly reassured her, but she had to fight the urge to run away when he came closer to her. There was an awkward moment where they looked at each other without nothing happening at all, and Mereana suddenly realized that Astarion seemed really nervous.

" - You...never did this before ? I mean, drinking from - _yuck_ \- you know, a person, not a pig ? " she asked anxiously.

Astarion didn't reply, but he didn't have to, it was written all over his face. His eyes went up and down, from her face to her neck, which made Mereana feel a bit sick, and he was obviously trying to hide away whatever was going on inside his mind again.

" - What am I supposed to do ?" she knew she was going to blatter around hopelessly to hide away how creepy the situation actually was, but could not fight it. " - Should I be fighting back ? Like, do you want me to pretend I'm running away from you or something…? I won't judge. I'm a very open-minded person."

A mixture of emotions crossed through Astarion's face. " - No, no, please. Mereana, _please_ shut up. I'm having a moment here. "

She closed her mouth a few seconds, but kept on staring at him staring at her neck and not moving. The nervousness was unbearable though, and she could not refrain herself :

" - So how long is it going to take exactly ? You're sure you don't need a hand to get started ? "

Annoyance flashed into the vampire's eyes as he flinched and broke out of his transe. " - All right ! I can't do it if you look at me like that. Why would you stare at me like that ? It's disrupting. And why do you talk so bloody much ? I should have gone with the other half-elf. " Astarion pinched his nose and sighed, trying to regain some focus. She noticed that he did the gesture with this little finger pointing to the air, which was ridiculous, and kind of reassuring. "- It was better when you were snoozing. Can't you - can you just turn around and pretend I'm not here, please ?"

" - For heaven's sake, how can I just pretend - okay, okay, I'm going to do this. Then I won't owe you anything anymore."

The pointless bickering at least had the virtue of soothing Mereana, as she was more accustomed to this sort of communication. She very slowly turned her back to the vampire, and closed her eyes, trying to think of something nice, like her cat in Baldur's Gate. But then she realized that she missed her cat. And her bed. And gods, she even missed her mom a little. Did anyone out there miss her ? She felt Astarion's hands around her shoulders, holding her delicately, and a sudden pain in her neck. She expected herself to scream, because in her mind it was what vampire's victims do, but strangely enough she didn't find the force to do so. After the sudden pain came a strange feeling of calm and numbness, as the fear she had felt slowly faded out. Her mind's attention turned back to her cat once more, as she wondered if her servants would think about feeding it. The feral beast left most of her domestic staff terrorized and traumatized, and her mother hated it, but she had always liked the wild, ugly feline.

She felt herself slump back into Astarion's embrace as her mind became foggy. _Was it how it was supposed to be ? Didn't we agree that it was just a drop ?_ Well, he did say she could trust him, right ? So, there was no need to worry anymore, she supposed. She mumbled something, trying to ask him to stop, but he didn't hear her. She closed her eyes and forgot everything about tadpoles, feeling happily numb for once.


	8. 8. The big reveal

Mereana's eyelids fluttered a little before opening up once more, staring at her tent ceiling.

Her mind felt hazed and confused, though she had no idea why. It took her a few seconds before memories of the past minutes clicked together in her mind.

She immediately took a hand to her neck, feeling the bite wound - her stomach tightened uncomfortably as she drew back her fingers, still stained with warm blood. _Mystra has pity on me. I can't believe I just let that happen. I am such a moron._

She stared at her fingers absent-mindedly, trying to decipher her own feelings. What was she feeling exactly ? Resentment, quite obviously. Confusion, certainly. A sense of complete and total incredulity regarding the fact that she was bled to death because she agreed to some vampire feeding on her. She could hear something besides her - someone, she corrected, fumbling about in the place and talking to himself.

" - That's not good. Not good at all, they're gonna kill me - oh, dear. You woke up. You're not dead. Guess those health potions did work after all. What a relief ! "

Astarion came back into view once more, kneeling besides her. He looked...different. More alive, if that word had any meaning for a vampire. Something had lightened up inside him, and he was buzzing with energy. That he looked so happy while she was sitting there shaking with the shock of near-death experience was somehow obscene and barely bearable.

He grabbed her right hand in his own, as if caring for a sick family member, and went on talking, both looking deeply sorry and also over-excited :

" - Listen, Mereana, I can explain. I truly apologize. This was - I don't know what came over me. I had no intention to hurt you, I swear. But it was just so _amazing,_ I never could forget what you did - but still, really, really sorry about this minor inconvenience. But you're back on your feet now, am I right ? So you'll forgive me."

" - Minor inconvenience ? You said I could trust you, and you didn't stop" , she accused coldly, trying to get her hand away from him. He let her go easily. He was visibly having trouble to focus on her, as he seemed eager to just talk about how great he was feeling. His complete lack of empathy was something to be expected from a rogue vampire, she supposed, but it still vexed her deeply. At least he was trying to pretend to care, which seemed to cost him deeply.

" - Yes, yes _, I know_. I was there. Once again, my deepest apologies. I did not think it would play out like that. But it worked ! I would never forget that. Never forget what you did. I swear I'll make it up to you, you'll see. I'm stronger already ! I feel... _free_!" He grabbed her shoulders once more in a gesture of excitement, trying to share his euphoria, which only resulted in Mereana tensing and slowly crawling away. " - I can do whatever I want. I do not have to obey the master anymore. This is freedom, Mereana, at long least !"

It felt as if he wouldn't stop congratulating himself if she didn't intervene, and he was failing to notice how distressed and horrified she was. Also, she did not have a clue what he was raving on about.

" - _I could have died_ ! " she stammered loudly, and in reaction Astarion raised his hands as if asking her to lower her voice. He glanced nervously to the exit of the tent, checking to see if anybody has heard her.

" - Well...that's what spells and potions are for, right ? I mean, all this looting had to be useful anyway. And you _didn't_ die ! Look at you !" He suddenly reached out to pat her cheek. " - The living picture of health !" he added in an over-the-top, merry tone.

" - That's it. I've had enough of you, you freak ! And stop putting your hands over me !" she used her elbows to stand halfway up, but found she could not quite rise to her feet yet, and even less cast a spell. Anger washed over her as she glared at Astarion. She saw him flinched when she called him a freak, and felt a tad satisfied to see how he disliked the word.

" - Well, here I see we are back to a far less amiable level of discussion. Let us say you are a bit tired by this unfortunate event and need to rest a little before we talk again, right ? How does that sound ?" he reversed to his snobbish, stand-offish attitude, which only fueled Mereana's anger further.

" - No !" she screeched, and remembered that every one else was still sleeping because Astarion had taken advantage of his duty guard to try to feed on her. She did feel like throwing the vampire off to her friends and accusing him of trying to kill her, but the truth was that she kind of let him do it and there was no way she'd be able to explain that. Because she cared too much about her own image and didn't want anyone to find out just how stupid she was. Because she didn't want to feel alone and brushed aside. She lowered her tone as they both stayed awkwardly quiet for a few seconds, waiting to see if anyone had woken up. Fortunately, it wasn't the case.

" - No", she pursued, keeping her voice down. " - Have you got _any idea_ what you did to me ? How it felt like ? It…"

She didn't have the luxury to continue though, as Astarion suddenly lashed out, in the same hushed tone, but barely containing his own emotions :

" - _Of course_ I know what it feels like ! Do you think I asked to become a vampire ? Do you think that's what I wanted ? I know perfectly well what it feels to be drained, and then used, and then - " he stopped suddenly, unable to go farther, and grabbed his collarshirt to reveal a scar on his neck. The sudden gesture and flash of sincerity disarmed Mereana once more, as she found herself only able to stare at the grey ugly wound in the elf's flesh.

" - It happened to me two hundred years ago, and that damn scar is still here, and let me tell you that it could be way, way worse. You're alive, and you'll be alright, and you should be thankful for that. I mean, I could just have left you and killed everyone else. You'll be fine. " He seemed annoyed as he fumbled to close his collar back.

She searched for something to say back, but the truth was that she was out of retort. She still felt very angry, and spiteful, and ashamed, but she was too disoriented to think straight. She didn't want to fight Astarion or risk losing him, as he was too useful a companion. But she didn't want him to be around her either and kind of wished she could hurt him somehow, if just to make the feeling of humiliation she felt go away. Right now she did hear his confession and veiled hints at his past, but she could not find it in her heart to care or mutter compassion.

" - So what, you have a tragic backstory, you say "sorry", and I should just forgive you and forget what you did ? Your sob story doesn't make it up to me. "

Astarion uttered an annoyed groan and replied dryly :. " - Are we _done_ here ?"

 _The nerve of this guy ! As if I was the crazy one here !_ Well, maybe she was, maybe she was wrong, but she was in no set of mind to acknowledge that.

" - No. I need you to tell me you'll tell everyone tomorrow morning about your nature. And that whatever happened tonight will stay in-between us. You know that if anyone heard about how uncontrollable your blood lust was to you, they'll kill you. And I don't want - I just don't want them to know."

Astarion brushed a hand in his white hair. He looked really better and more regal than before. _Because he damn well drunk me to death._ The thought kept creeping her out.

" - Agreed", he finally said. He tapped his feet on the floor. " - Now, if you please, I'd love to have some time alone...you were truly invigorating, really, but there's just so much I have to think about and I feel like a little stroll in the night would do me good."

" - That's not all."

" - Oh, come on, _what now_? I'm not here to stand order."

" - No, but you said you were going to make it up to me. I just want you to know that I'll have your back, but from now you feed on our enemies and you never touch me again. And you _better_ be making it up to me. Because I won't forget what happened." She deeply meant every word of it, and her barely restrained anger seemed to make Astarion think carefully.

" - Fine ! _Fine_. If it makes you feel better. Now, are we done ?"

She didn't reply, and Astarion seemed to take her silence as an answer and fled out of the tent. He barely stopped a few seconds, as if in afterthought, to say : " - This is a gift, you know. I won't forget it."

She laid back on the bedroll, her head still spinning a little, and waited a while to be sure that no one would hear her. Then, she curled up in her bed and silently started to cry herself to sleep, feeling the tears dwell up uncontrollably in her eyes. She felt so alone, and weak, and unimportant, and she was way-in over-her-head alongside vampire, mind flayers and githyanki and gods knew what else was coming along. An adventure was supposed to be fun, and lightful, and of course she always thought she was going to be the main character and that everybody would like her. Well now she was in an adventure of her own, _and it was not fun_. She'd been captured, tortured by mind flayers, condemned to bear of their worms, her very flesh and mind threatened to turn her into something else any moment, no one really liked her anyway and she was making bad decisions over bad decisions. The sense that this was not going to stop, that there was no running away from her problems this time doomed on her heavily. She could die. Like, for real. Oh, yes, probably after death her soul would go to her deity's kingdom, but she didn't feel like finding that out just yet.

It felt awful. Maybe that was why everyone else in the camp was in such a bad mood all the time. Maybe that explained why Shadowheart kept on arguing with her. Because this was not a game, the odds were real. Thinking about how close she was to die so stupidly tonight only unnerved her more, but at least this confrontation made her face the truth : if she wished to survive this, she was going to need to seriously _toughen up._ Sure, she was no hero, like Wyll. She didn't have the knowledge and charm of Gale. She wasn't mighty and fiercely willed like Lae'zel. She lacked common sense and pragmatism, contrary to Shadowheart. And she didn't have the centuries of killing experience of Astarion. But certainly and though she was new to all of this, she could probably find something she was good at. Or become good at, if she truly had no natural qualities of her own.

She didn't get much sleep that night, and the first rays of sun woke her up. She left her tent to greet Lae'zel, who was on duty guard. The warrior nodded back at her as she scampered along to the river to wash herself. She didn't seem to notice her awful face, too busy with sharpening her sword. Mereana gladily undressed and proceeded to wash herself. The coldness of the water felt awful, but at least it made her come back to her senses. She stayed a few more minutes, enjoying her loneliness, as she composed herself to face the day. She'd have to bear Astarion's presence and he still grossed her out, but she could muster the strength to pretend that she was going all right. Dressing back into her clothes and adventuring gear, she brushed her neck with her fingers, expecting to feel a scar under her fingertips. Fortunately, the health potions Astarion had made her drink healed the wound and there was no trace of it. She felt a pang of relief. Upon seeing Astarion's scar, she had feared that she would have to bear one as well. That would definitely had earned her a new tattoo to hide it back in Baldur's Gate. Fortunately, this wasn't going to be the case. Though she could still go for a new tattoo anyway.

She went back to camp to light the fire and prepared some breakfast. As everyone around started waking up, her companions took place around the fire to eat and went on bantering. Wyll sat next to Lae'zel and started asking her questions about her martial training, which was odd, because Mereana had seen the Blade of Frontier fight and let's just say that he wasn't that great of a swordsman after all. The way he looked at the warrior though made his intent quite clear. _Well, he certainly isn't losing any time._ Gale was busy reading the documents they brought him yesterday, and humming to himself along the way. He cast a quick smile in her direction above the document, gulping down a piece of bread, before returning to his study. Shadowheart was praying in her corner, to whatever god she worshipped. The cleric had not been really forthcoming on her religion, though it wasn't as if anyone truly cared in the camp. No one striked her as really religious. Mereana herself worshipped Sune and of course Mystra, which was kind of an unavoidable essentiel in a wizard's life. Gale probably did the same. Lae'zel had been quite clear on her zeal to serve Vlaakith and Tiamat. That left Astarion, who never spoke a word about gods, and he didn't seem like the sort of elf who would worship Correlon and the spirits of the forest. And Wyll, but Mereana had the feeling he kind of worshipped his own reputation and fame over everything else.

Astarion strolled out of his tent, pretending to just wake up, and hesitantly walked to her side. He didn't seem to know what to do with himself, and with great effort, Mereana stopped what she was doing to listen to whatever he had to say.

" - Good morning", was what he had to say, and he waved at everyone around the fire with a pleasant but slightly condescending-signature smile.

" - That's what you've got to say ?" muttered Mereana under her breath.

With a twitchy smile, he forced himself to go on : " - And how do you feel today, my friend ? You seem...better."

She decided to not resume their dispute, though her discontent was still hanging in the air. " - Just a little bit woozy. Hopefully it won't leave a mark."

"- Glad to hear it." He seemed to relax a little. " - You should be glad I'm not a true vampire then, but merely a spawn."

The elf went on discussing his condition openly, revealing more about his past and his vampire master, Cazador. He seemed actually glad to reveal his true nature and his difficulties. Their chattering caught the attention of their other companions one by one. When he was done with exposing how the tadpole might have changed him and freed him from his constraints, all of the camp was closing in to him, looking visibly concerned.

" - So you're a vampire", said Shadowheart calmly. Strangely enough, no one freaked out and they all looked very calm considering the big reveal. " - That would explain the pallor."

" - I'm just glad you're being sensible to all these revelations", said Astarion carefully. " - I was worried you might turn up with pitchforks and torches. Although there's still time." He eyed the rest of the party carefully, waiting for them to decide what to do with him.

Their reactions were...pragmatic and very open-minded.

Shadowheart shrugged. " - I don't see the problem. We're all monsters in the making after all."

Her statement was true in a way, since they were all going to transform into mind flayers, and Mereana nodded, showing off her approval. Considering that two of them already had easily accepted the rogue's nature, the rest of the party didn't have much protest.

" - Hunting with a vampire. Never thought I'd see the day." Wyll leant in towards Astarion, and added purposefully : " - Very well - but I'm keeping an eye on you. And no wisecracks about having us for supper."

" - I think we can all agree on that", intervened Gale. " Oh, by the way, a word of warning : I taste absolutely _awful_."

There were a lot of threats about what would happen to Astarion if he tried to nibble any one in the camp, but also Wyll started calling him " " which everyone hated, and soon everybody stopped talking about it and went on preparing for the day.

Mereana herself did not push the subject farther and they joined Wyll over to make their plan for the day.


	9. 9. The blighted village, part 1

The party had decided this morning to go and explore the nearby human village. They were told the place had been overrun by goblins ; Wyll was hoping that they could encounter and interrogate their leader to know more about their forces and locate their hierarchy. How exactly would this information be ripped out of the unwilling goblins was still undefined and left up in the air.

They had decided that Gale was to stay at camp, to study the notes they had stolen from Halsin's secret library. To say that he was less than thrilled with this decision was an understatement. This has led to another interminable squabble between them ; but since Lae'zel and Shadowheart could not be put in the same room without entering multiple rounds of exchanged threats, the exploration party was still composed by Wyll, Mereana, Astarion and Shadowheart. There had been some comments upon Mereana's favorited presence by Lae'zel, who noticed that she seemed a bit sick this morning and also mentioned that she was still supposed to be a wizard as well, even though they could doubt her training since the gith had seen her clicked on various unknown buttons on the nautiloid just to see what would happen. This has led Mereana to lose her temper with the warrior, telling her that she wasn't there to stand orders from a lost githyanki rejected by her own kin. Shadowheart had approved and stood by her side, and then a fight broke off.

Murder was barely prevented by Wyll, who had to soothe down everyone's spirit for the next hour, especially Lae'zel who was keen on leaving the party. Astarion, probably feeling liable to Mereana for nearly killing her that night, had taken her defense, mentioning that he liked how she was "Less of a walking encyclopedia, more of a pyromaniac magic-missile type" kind of wizard. Gale probably didn't wish to throw any more fuel to the fire and had finally accepted to stay behind and study the notes. He had only mysteriously commented, after a while, "that it was probably for the best anyway" and asked them to talk with him about any kind of magical trinkets they could recover in their adventure. He also told Mereana that he wished to speak to her more privately tonight, but had not disclosed more information about what he was thinking.

Their never-ending quarrel amongst the party had put a gloomy and morose atmosphere over the camp. Even though Wyll managed to make Lae'zel stay - and Mereana had no clue how he succeeded in that -, they all felt the vulnerability of their temporary alliance and how difficult it was to maneuver with so many different and strong personalities. Wyll had tried to have a big talk about how important it was to stay united under the strain of fate, but even the heroic speech of the Blade had failed to persuade anyone. Much more pragmatically, Gale had taken over in explaining once more what was to become of them if they failed in their task to find a healer, and his eloquent and charismatic storytelling had been quite efficient in instillating a common purpose once more. A common purpose funded on fear and horror, but still.

The four of them had set for the village after that, and they did not speak up much as they travelled through the forest, each of them lost in thought. Mereana noticed, however, that they all seemed much more at ease with each other than with the others at camp. It was funny to see how, in a short period of time, they managed to organically work together though they would never have spoken to each other if given a choice in their old lives. They had spotted the main entrance to the village an hour ago, in the form of a bridge leading to an open wooden gate. They had prudently avoided the bridge and kept to the bushes, trailing down the elevation to find a shelter hidden from view in a nearby clearing. So they had agreed that the rogue and the cleric would scout ahead, to try and identify their foes and their composition, while the wizard and the blade waited behind.

They were supposed to wait in the nearby vegetation, but as heavy clouds started to gather above their heads and heavy rain fell down, they both decided to retreat towards a nearby cave and sat down behind a boulder of stone, hidden by its shadow, and had a snack of fruits and nuts while waiting for their companions to return. Quite surprisingly, they were joined by a stray dog fleeing from the rain that took cover with them in the cave ; Wyll immediately fell in love with, as he started petting the dog fondly and looking for some dried meat to feed it with.

" - Don't feed it. We don't even know what it is", grumbled Mereana, eyeing the dog suspiciously.

Wyll chuckled upon noticing her weary expression. " - What do you mean, "what it is" ? It's a dog, nothing more. Not everyone is secretly a vampire spawn in this place. Don't you agree, Mr. Scratch ?" Wyll proceeded on scratching the dog behind its ear as it whimpered softly, rubbing its head against the Blade's arm.

Mereana watched gloomily. The dog stinked with wet hair and seemed famished and dirty. Its paws left traces of mud on Wyll's leather armor, but the Blade didn't seem to care. She wasn't a dog person. And she wasn't fond of pets. Of course she liked her old cat, but mainly because it had an awful personality and would instill terror in everyone's heart. But somehow picturing Wyll getting friendly with stray dogs lost in wilderness kind of made sense. It fit with the "heroic" background. " - For all we know, "Scratch" here could well be a werewolf in disguise. And I just don't want our hiding place to be discovered, that's all."

" - Oh, come on, Mereana ! There's no one around here. And goblins are not known for their discretion, I can guarantee that. You will hear them long before they even surprise us. Damn, you're really grumpy this morning. Are you all right ?"

She sighed and laid herself back on the boulder, shooing the dog away as it went for her knees and tried to lick her face. " - You're right. I suppose the tadpole situation is getting to my nerves. "

" - That's why we need a dog."

" - We're not taking the dog with us, Wyll."

Wyll looked back at her, doe-eyed. " - But it's really fluffy and it's good for morale." He patted her knee with a devilish smile. " - Come on ! It obviously needs some help - don't we all ? Plus, it will remind me of my old dog. I really loved the beast."

" - Fine", she finally agreed, " - but I'm not going to take care of it. And don't cry on my shoulder if Astarion drinks it."

Wyll raised his hands in the air with a fake solemn air on his face. " - I swear on my honor that I'll feed and wash it, Ma'am. And I'm sure our vampire friend will soon grow accustomed to more tasty meats soon enough, preferably goblin meat. I know I wouldn't complain about that. "

Mereana tried to scoff, but couldn't help a chuckle to escape her tightened lips. She found Wyll's easy-going attitude familiar and comforting ; and though he was more righteous than Astarion and Shadowheart, he did seem pragmatic and just shadowy enough to fit in well with their party. Their back-and-forth felt natural, as if they had known each other for a long time. They didn't, but the prospect of living on the edge of incoming doom had managed to bind them together, and she could tell that he appreciated the relief from the quarrel of the morning.

They heard a distant chattering coming their way, and suddenly went quiet. The dog whimpered a little, but Wyll petted it onto its neck, gently pushing it to lay down and stay silent.

" - So, Shadowheart."

That was definitely Astarion's voice. Wyll and Mereana exchanged glances as they tried to figure out where exactly their companions were ; they could hear them bantering from afar, and could follow their steps above their heads, but they were nowhere to be seen. Mereana pointed to a hole in the ceiling of the cave they hadn't noticed before, as it was covered with bushes and plants. So they were hearing them as they troddled down the path to their location.

The rogue's intonation was sultry and flirty, and Mereana and Wyll instinctively bundled together to eavesdrop on their conversation. Wyll whispered very quietly to her : " - That should be good." The wizard nodded back with excitement, signaling him to stay quiet with a finger posed on her lips.

Back in Baldur's Gate, when she was younger, Mereana had spent countless evenings gossiping about her friends. She used to have a lot of friends : young girls of the aristocracy, like herself, for the most part, and every one of them was a backstabbing bitch - Mereana included. She loved the gossip and the mockery and she knew that it was shallow and superficial, but she wouldn't miss an opportunity to do it. She dropped the habit a while at the Academy, mostly because the other wizard apprentices judged her attitude to be immature and undignified. She was surprised at how happy she felt about eavesdropping on a conversation that definitely wasn't meant for her once more. Even more so when she realized that Wyll had the same instinct and was completely willing to jeer at whatever awkward flirt was going on over there.

Up over their heads, the banter continued.

" - Such a grim name for such a beautiful flower", said Astarion in a purring voice.

The Blade and Mereana looked at each other incredulously. The rogue had a certain charm about him, and he was very conscious of that ; he had strike them as a typical, saucy sassy rogue. To hear him commit such a bad pick-up line was unexpected. No one in their right mind would call Shadowheart "flower." Damn, even Gale had managed to flirt with the cleric in a better way, and he talked to her about the colour of her eyes, which was cheesy as hell. Mereana found a slight sense of comfort thinking that no one in their group seemed to be good at this game. Also, it looked like everyone was trying to seduce the others and that made her feel less lonesome. Wyll opened his mouth and silently prununced, exaggerating his articulation : 'So corny.'

Shadowheart seemed to agree with their silent and concerned observation, as she snapped back to the vampire :

" - Could you not stare so blatantly at my neck while you say that ? Plus, I heard you practicing that line this morning. It needs more work."

That seemed to shut down Astarion, at least at the moment, and Wyll and Mereana, back in their hiding place, found it hard not to laugh at the cleric's rebuttal.

" - Poor guy. Just got used to the sunlight and is already roasted", mumbled Mereana to Wyll's ear, and that made him lose his control and have a chuckle.

" - Shadowheart can sure be cold", he agreed.

Over their heads, the duo carried on their chattering, as Shadowheart inquired : " - If you were to have a choice, Astarion, which of us would you rather feed on ?"

" - Weird question", commented Wyll.

" - Ah, Wyll. No question. He's strong, fast, and righteous. I'm salivating already. But I could bite you as well, if that's what you want. "

Their voices were echoing from too far a distance to really listen up on Shadowheart's reply, but they would not have heard it anyway, as Wyll exclaimed with an over-dramatic outrage : " - The bastard !"

Mereana giggled at his infuriated expression, and added devilishly. " - Well, you're the monster hunter here. I suppose opposites attract."

Wyll looked even more hurt. " - I took the guy's defense this morning, and he's already talking about eating me. I can't believe it. The nerve of that man ! "

They got up and out of the cave, the dog trailing on Wyll's heels as the Blade complained a little more about Astarion's treachery. At least this inopportune eavesdropping had made them laugh a little and release their tensions.

" - You know," started Wyll, changing the subject while they were waiting for the scout party to find them " - talking like that behind people's back reminded me of my youth."

" - Oh, let me guess. You were a noble, sought-after teenager and you used to make fun of the least popular ones at every notorious event ?" inquired Mereana sarcastically.

This seemed to off-balance Wyll a little, as he scratched his head. " - Well, yes, that's what I was going to say. How did you guess ? I don't reckon I kept much of my past behavior. "

" - What, you're from the nobility ? " Mereana looked up to him, surprised. She had seen the man before, but never as anything else but the Blade. She tried to focus past his scars, missing eye, callous skin, past the rustic and adventurous dress-up, and to picture him as every other noble young man in Baldur's Gate, meaning a bit dull, with a colourful jabot and a condescending mannerism. Strangely enough, Astarion came to mind as a good representation, but certainly not Wyll.

" - I'm from nobility, yes, but I don't want to talk about it much. It's just...you kind of reminded me of these days. They're long gone for me now, but you have this way of asserting people…Don't get this wrong, but I'm sure I've seen you before, come to think of it. " he squinted his eyes at her.

" - You mean that you don't recognize me at all ?" she asked back. " - You were in my house. Twice. The ambassador's mansion. People threw you a party for saving a nearby village. You came in, ate the canapés, fled away before the official "thank-you" speech in front of everyone. I literally lived there. In the mansion, I mean. You don't remember ?"

"- Really ? I knew I've seen your face from somewhere !" he seemed excited. " - Couldn't quite put it right though. Wouldn't have put you for the ambassador's daughter. You did something to your hair, right ? It was longer before. Poshier. "

She nodded, as she glanced over Astarion and Shadowheart who were now joining them. She didn't feel very comfortable speaking about her background openly, though she supposed she had no big secret to hide, and she changed the subject as they drew closer :

" - Wyll wants to keep the dog."

Astarion and Shadowheart both looked surprised by this sudden, unrelated outburst, and glanced down on the stray dog who sat quietly by Wyll's side.

" - Fantastic. But _why_ ?" asked the vampire rogue, visibly not really thrilled by the concept.

Shadowheart said nothing, only shaking her head sideways in apparent disapproval, but couldn't quite draw her eyes away from the lost animal.

" - I like it. Who wouldn't ? Also, Astarion, if you ever feel peckish, keep away from it. Or from me. I don't like you...what's the word... " _salivating"_ around me."

The vampire scoffed and crossed his arms elegantly, as he understood that the monster hunter had overhead his conversation. " - I should be more than able to restrain myself, thank you. You seem a bit _sour_ today."

" - Now that we're done with the banter," chimed in Mereana, holding back a chuckle at the vampire's offended attitude, " what did you see in the village ?"

" - Goblins, mostly. Ogres, as well. Oh, and a very amusing scene with a gnome tied to a windmill. I wanted to stay and watch longer, but our dear cleric there thought it would be too risky."

" - They were setting up for an ambush, and there are dozens of them in the village. They're looting the place apart, so they're not all gathered in the same place ; and they make an awful lot of noise. ", added Shadowheart more professionally. " - If we go through the bridge directly, they'll decimate us. But we might have a chance if we circle around them and take them down little by little. I don't think they would even hear us through their mess."

Fortunately, they had marked down a path on the eastern side of the village guarded over by only two goblins, one of which was profoundly asleep when they left, and the other one busy drinking some rancid wine. It would lead them in an alley behind a large house, where they could take down a first gathering of sentinels. From there, they could climb up the roof and sneak to a footbridge above the windmill. The fight would prove tedious, but with their ambushing advantage, maybe they could take down the goblins quickly before they had a chance to fight back. The difficult part was to keep their leader alive or at least unconscious, so that he could be interrogated later on.

" - Well", said Wyll at the end of their discussion, a smile tugged on his lips. " - It's a nice day for slaying goblins, I reckon."

And with that, they were gone up to the village, using the secret path they had discovered to set an ambush over the ambush the goblins had prepared.


	10. 10. The blighted village, part 2

  
  


They climbed up the muddy path to the village. The rain had made the ground uneasy and unstable as they walked through the heavy vegetation to the foothill, trying to avoid the main entrance and sneak around the eastern part of the place.

Though the climbing wasn’t really long, it was made difficult by the downpour and Mereana was hanging behind everyone else. Wyll was leading the way ahead, followed closely by Shadowheart who had packed her shield and weapons in her back to facilitate the ascension. Though she wasn’t really gracious, the cleric managed to take the effort with just a dire scowl on her lips.

_ I wouldn’t mind taking a pause from adventuring, _ thought Mereana grimly, thinking about all those goblins that needed slaying and who awaited them inside the village.  _ I’m not athletic enough for all this. _

As she was struggling through the muddy path, Astarion purposefully slowed down to meet her. 

“ - And how are you doing now, my friend ?” he asked amicably. The friendliness of his tone was somehow contradicted by the distant way he was eyeing her efforts.

_ Damn vampire spawn. Maybe he’s looking for another bite. _ Mereana grimaced, frustrated. She was still not over the incident of the previous night and was pretty certain that the blood loss was responsible for her tiredness today, and was in no mind to pretend to be happy about it. 

“ - Stop staring at me like some vulture. I’m not going to just drop down and let you nibble at me.”

He sighed, holding back a groan, and crossed his arms. “ - And to think that this morning, you asked me to avoid any puns regarding my condition. But now I guess this has become a sort of competition within the party. It’s growing tiresome really fast. ”

Mereana glared at him, and pushed through the mud stubbornly, while the elf gracefully followed her around with ease. 

“ - I would sympathize, but truth be told, I still have half the mind to set you on fire for academic research purposes”, she replied wryly, purposefully ignoring Astarion and how stupidly effortlessly he followed around. 

“ - And I would probably worry, if you weren’t having so much trouble catching your breath right now.”

“ - At least _ I  _ still breathe.”

That seemed to make the vampire react at least, as his expression slided from condescending amusement to offended displeasure. 

“ - I’ll have you know that - “

“ - Psss ! The both of you, be quiet ! “ That came from Shadowheart, who surprised them at their next turn by emerging from the shadow suddenly in front of them. The cleric seemed pretty annoyed as she gestured them to something they were supposed to see ahead the path.

Mereana squinted her eyes, trying to focus on whatever Shadowheart pointed at. She then realized that she could hear snores ; heavy, gross snores, that only could be made by something very drunk. A goblin was laying down on the path ; probably the sentinel they had spotted before. Wyll had bypassed the goblin to check if it was safe to move forward, and was signaling them, in a very eloquent gesture, to cut its throat now. She hadn’t realized that they got so close to their objective while bickering with Astarion. From the look of it, the rogue hadn’t spotted the goblin either and was pretty riled up too. He sniffed with elegance and slipped back the two of them, advancing towards the sleeping goblin with grace and, more importantly, silence. 

While Wyll and Astarion took care of the dormant sentinel, and went on to assassinate another one nearby, Mereana took the time to catch up her breath and Shadowheart and herself hid behind the block of a house. Mereana was busy pacing around, intrigued by the nearby presence of an old altar she couldn't quite make up entirely in the shade of the house. 

“ - Did something happen between Astarion and you ? ”, suddenly said Shadowheart out of nowhere, avoiding to meet Mereana’s eyes.

Surprised, the mage stopped her pacing, and managed just in time to avoid the urge to scratch at her neck in response.  _ Not going to talk about that.  _

“ - Why ? Are you interested ?” Mereana asked back, putting on a devious smile. She knew the question would irritate the cleric and truth be told, she enjoyed it, plus she was in a bad mood and found it quite agreeable to share her grumpiness around. It was probably immature as well, but well, “mature” wasn”t usually the first adjective that came to mind when talking about herself anyway. 

Shadowheart scoffed in response, her face showing nothing of what she was thinking, though her lips slightly tightened up with disapproval. As it was her most common expression when talking with Mereana, the wizard didn’t think much of it and it seemed more natural. She would question herself if Shadowheart ever did smile at her or reveal any sort of emotion in their exchange. 

“ - In you ? Please. Let’s stay serious.”

  
  


“ - What if I am serious ?” insisted Mereana, mainly because she knew that track of conversation greatly displeased the cleric. 

“ - You don’t have to make any more a fool of yourself that you already had. I strongly advise you not to pursue this train of thought”, answered Shadowheart sternly. 

“ - So, maybe it’s Astarion you’re interested in ? He does seem quite open to having you for dinner”, she replied, in a fakely innocent tone. 

From the look of it, she now had managed to fed up Shadowheart completely as the half-elf turned towards her to face her in a more aggressive stance. She took a few steps in her direction, and Mereana calmly crossed her arms, waiting for her reply. She wasn’t expecting to get a reaction from the cleric, as she was always so guarded and careful not to show anything about herself. But she must have said something that went under her skin somehow.

Their quarrel didn’t go further, though. As the cleric took a step towards the wizard, a strange, flickering silver light appeared suddenly on her right hand. Mereana immediately stepped out of her stance, checking to see if there was anything or anyone around that could be responsible for this. But there was nothing, except an old altar and a dusty, metallic helm on the ground she had not taken any interest in before.

Even Shadowheart seemed really appalled and surprised by this, as the half-elf twisted her hand to observe the light. But as suddenly as the dancing light appeared, it vanished. Shadowheart’s expression grew blank as she observed her surroundings, and her attention was drawn to the helmet. 

That was just the time Wyll and Astarion returned to them. They immediately noticed Shadowheart’s strange attitude.

“ - What happened ?” asked Wyll casually.

“ - Nothing”, snapped the cleric. “ - I just have a hunch that something hiding in this wilderness might help us.”

The way she purposefully avoided the topic of the strange light in her hand attracted Mereana’s suspicion. Wyll and Astarion seemed as unconvinced as she was by Shadowheart’s reply, but something in her attitude warned her not to reveal what she had witnessed. 

The wizard kneeled and picked up the helmet, examining it with a quick spell. “ - I sense no magic in this”, she said. “ - We were wondering about that altar”, she lied calmly, pointing to the nearby homemade altar. She slipped the helmet in her backpack. The thing truly had no magic, but it had seemed important to Shadowheart for a second so maybe it could be useful later. Otherwise, she could probably sell it to someone.

Wyll tried to insist a little bit more about the cleric’s intuitions, but she made it clear that they were not going to get any answers. 

“ - If we’re done here, then let’s go”, suggested Astarion, being the wise one for a change.

They all agreed and quietly climbed up the roof, heading for the windmill.

Astarion led the way, as he had reckoned the path before. They kneeled and crawled their way above the heads of the sentinels guarding the main entrance, who were busy heavily discussing something they called ‘the Absolute.’ One of them was painting the walls in red paint with various figures. Some other ones were looting and tearing the place apart. They made such noise that the party had no trouble sneaking past their very limited attention to their surroundings.

They arrived on the verge of the last roof overlooking the windmill. As Astarion had described, someone was tied up to the windmill and was desperately calling for mercy. Mereana watched in awe as the poor prisoner nearly got crushed to death in his spiralling descent. Some goblins, down the place, mesmerized by the show, had decided that throwing rocks at the tied up gnome as he was passing down was a fine addition to the already entertaining cries of pure horror of the prisoner. 

The goblins weren’t the only ones enjoying the fate of the gnome. Astarion gladly chuckled as the prisoner yelped desperately when nearing the ground, and threw up on himself. 

Wyll turned his head to consider the rogue. “ - Seriously.  _ This _ is making you laugh ?”

“ - Believe me, I would enjoy it even more if it was you all tied up in there”, purred the rogue smoothly in response, and Wyll rolled his eyes, muttering something very unflattering to himself.

_ We’re really just a bunch of assholes, _ thought Mereana, fighting back a smile at the boy’s quarrel. _ Strange thing is, we seem to love it.  _

“ - There’s the leader of the pack, here.” Wyll pointed to one of the goblins that indeed seemed better armed than the others. “ - Maybe he’d know where the others are.”

“ - How do we approach this ? They are numerous”, noticed Shadowheart. 

“ - I can put a small group to sleep. Maybe the archers, over there. You can bless us during this time. And maybe Astarion could take care of the priestess there before she causes us any trouble. Wyll, you do your magic stuff and blast the worgs to death as they’ll climb towards us. And no jumping alone in the thick of the fight, for anybody,” suggested Mereana. The last sentence was mainly directed at Wyll and herself, since they both have shown tendencies to be rash and suicidal before. 

Shadowheart and Astarion nodded, but something she said upset Wyll.

“- Magic stuff ?” he asked. “ - I don’t do magic stuff.”

“ - You know”, precised Shadowheart. “ - Your warlock talents.”

That’s when Wyll did something very strange and started laughing as quietly as he could, but in a very forced and unnatural way. He pretended to dry up some laughing tears at the corner of his valid eye. “ - I don’t see what you’re talking about. ” 

Astarion raised his delicate eyebrows, and added : “ - We’re talking about that time you threw supernatural blasts from your hands at a harpy. Very effective, entertaining, and also, you’re really far better at this than at swordsmanship. Someone has to tell you the truth.”

However overwhelming were the various proofs that Wyll was a warlock - from the spells he had launched in front of them to the sending stone both Mereana and Shadowheart had noticed in his wounded eye - the Blade refused to acknowledge it, and served them a tale that he kept some magical trinkets on himself to use such magic. The way Wyll thought that he could fool them while he was lying so badly and with so many twitches was somehow amusing, but also slightly worrisome : what was the hero trying to hide so hard ? 

_ So, both Shadowheart and Wyll were trying to conceal something mysterious and probably magical and probably wrong with them. _ Mereana sighed, and whispered to Astarion’s attention :

“ - Who would have thought that you, the vampire spawn, would be the most forthcoming one ?”

“ - I did say you could trust me. It’s not my fault if everyone assumes otherwise”, he replied, grinning slightly as to reveal the tip of his fangs.

They met no more success prying away at Wyll than they had trying to make Shadowheart talk about herself, so they soon turned their attention back to the fight ahead as they all took positions to strike at the same time on their unsuspecting enemies.

It turned out that taking the initiative on the goblins and handicapping them heavily on first contact was a pretty good strategy, and also that their little group of four wasn’t actually bad at cooperating during fights. Mereana herself was impressed by how easily they seemed to communicate between each other without even talking. If one of them was in trouble, they all re-organized to protect the weakest one of the gang ; if there was an opportunity to, say, put fire on an oily surface made by puncturing through barrels of alcohol, the wizard would always find her way to do it, as if called out by some supernatural intuition. 

Maybe it was the tadpoles that did that. They had somehow weakened some of their past abilities as individuals - at least in the case of Wyll, if his heroic tales were true - but provided them with a sort of link. Mereana didn’t even try to use hers actively, as she was distrustful of the thing. But maybe it could aso act on its own. She would have to submit her hypothesis to Gale.

As Mereana had fun shockwaving goblins around, a sudden quarrel broke out behind her back between Wyll and Astarion. From the sound of it, someone was really unhappy, and it was Wyll.  _ Of course.  _

She finished up her goblins homework, and was happy to emerge not only victorious but also with only just a few scratches from the battle. She was getting better at this. Also, their enemies seemed to favor going after Shadowheart, as confirmed by the wounded cleric that was busy trying to heal her own wounds.

She advanced towards Wyll and Astarion, who were each standing on one side of a corpse. The goblin leader’s corpse. She understood the scene easily : Astarion’s mouth was still dripping with fresh blood, which seemed to horrify Wyll.

“ - Astarion, what were you thinking ?”

“ - I felt a little peckish.”

“ - You killed him !”

“ - Well, that was the point of coming here in the first place, wasn’t it ?” 

Wyll cursed under his breath and facepalmed, which in turn made him wince as he got heavily wounded during the fight. Mereana watched over the squabble with interest as the vampire delicately stamped his chin to clean up his face. 

“ - The point of coming here was to question the leader”, explained Wyll with exaggerated patience. “ - And no we can’t question the goblin. Do you know why ? Because you felt “peckish”, and now he’s dead. Dead people don’t talk.”

For all his bad faith, Astarion didn’t have an intelligent come back for that, though he was obviously annoyed by Wyll’s patronizing tone, and so he settled for : “ - Next time you’re agonizing with a nearby enemy, I’ll just let the goblin do whatever he wants to you, so you can have a chat as he clubs your stubborn head to mash.”

“ - Urgh ! Gods, help me there”, said Wyll, turning towards her. “ - I’ll go ask our cleric to heal my wounds. Maybe that would refrain me from doing something I might regret.”

Wyll left the corpse with obvious exasperation, that Astarion clearly made a show of ignoring as he pretended to pick his fangs behind his back and kicked the corpse innocently.

Mereana sighed and looked up at the gnome tied up on the windmill, who was bellowing them to help him. Fortunately, the day wouldn’t last long anymore and they would soon go back to camp, if only to recover their spells. Gale had wanted a chat with her, and she now felt eager to talk to the sanest and most sincere person in the party. Surely at least Gale wouldn’t have a nasty dirty secret to hide.


End file.
